#never been so upset reading fanfiction
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liz-allyn · 6 months ago
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AO3 rec
This is by far one of the most thought-provoking and PAINFUL things I’ve ever read.
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tom pick me up im scared
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To Be Seen
Azriel x Reader
This is my first ever one-shot or fanfiction type writing on here, so be patient with me bc it will be FAR from perfect or good.
This is purely self-indulgent bc again, I'm new at this and just wanted to write an insert or y/n type little blurb.
Summary; Being the best friend of Feyre when she was human, you regretfully got roped in and turned with her sisters as a tool for manipulation by Hybern. As the sister's find it hard to settle in claiming the attention of the two other bats, you attempt to make Feyre's and the inner court's life easier by flying under the radar and figuring it out on your own. However, are you really as unnoticed as you hope or is a certain shadowsinger entrapped by your caring and soft nature as his heart battles his mind for the third sister or you.
Warnings: None really, mentions of PTSD and anxiety, loneliness and self-help, slow-burn, slight angst with a fluffy ending, reader just wants to be seen but feels like she can't ask
Word count: 2,389
Pt2
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The sound of a door opening broke you out of your thoughts as you sat in the drawing room in the house of wind. The gentle crackle of the fire Infront of you allowed your body to sit comfortably within the rather cold season and the book you were just reading sat loose in your lap. You haven't gotten used to your enhanced hearing yet as your now longer and thicker hair gently fell from where you had tucked it behind your ear.
"Y/n?" Your best friend's voice echoed into the room as her footsteps followed. A soft smile spread across your features as she came in, confirmed you where there, and plopped down ungraciously on the couch next to you. "Thank the mother you are here."
Her features where stressed, the worry written all over her face as she took your form in.
"What's going on?" You ask, hopeful to help.
Feyre let out a sigh as she let her eyes wonder to the fire Infront of the both of you.
"Nothing. Everything. I don't know, it seems that everything I do to try and help Nesta and Elaine seems to only make things worse." She rung her hands, a trait she picked up back in the human lands when she was nervous or upset. "It just never seems enough to make them comfortable or to try and apologize for everything that happened."
Your best friend's eyes slightly widened as she took her gaze from the flames.
"How are you? Are you doing okay?" The genuine care and concern oozing off of the female Infront of you reminded you of why you cared so much about your friend in the first place. When she was taken, you had searched high and low for her in hopes to get her back only to have her return happy and healthy with a loving man, or male, doting on her every need. You were ecstatic, and expressed yourself as so, even if it was with fae beings. When you and her sisters were taken, that happiness was put on hold to make sure that you are all where comfortable. Feyre's self-sacrificing nature did always drive you mad, even now when she was so close to being truly happy.
"I'm okay Feyre." She shot you a look, trying to dig deeper and call the bluff you made. "Seriously, I'm here with you and in an amazing place that I could only dream of with great people."
"A lot happened Y/n. A lot happened to Elaine and Nesta, but a lot happened to you." She was right, and it was weird for you to be so put together when the worlds of the other two were falling to pieces. With your more emotional and strong relationship with Feyre, you had been held captive with her sisters yes, but you also took the brunt of interrogation that the wicked king deemed necessary to gain any information of her court. You had put yourself in that position, you knew how awful she would feel about her familial blood being brutalized in such a way, so you took the heat. But, in the end, her sisters still took the change harder and refused to accept their new life, making everyone on edge and overexerting themselves to help.
With one look at your best friend's-tired eyes, you knew that she couldn't handle another burden. More like she shouldn't have to handle another burden.
The word tasted sour on your tongue.
Burden.
Shaking your head a small gentle smile graced your face, and you forced your features to emulate that same energy.
"I'm okay Feyre, really. Aside from some cool new power thing that I haven't figured out, I'm fine. " The breath she released could only register as relief in your mind as she met your smile.
"Okay, and we will definitely start working on that when we are all settled here." Her reassurance did little to reassure that it would be investigated. Again, with the two sisters gaining war altering abilities, your random energy (that had yet to manifest) would be put on the back burner until everyone else was settled. Again, the slight dismissal ached, but you understood the need for others to take precedence.
Giving a little nod, you two sit in silence for a bit just listening to the crackling of the fire and enjoying each other's presence. That is, until a wince rippled across your friends face and she slowly rose.
"I'm sorry, I have to go. I think Elaine is out and not talking to Lucien and it's a mess-"
"It's fine Feyre, go make sure they are okay." You assure with the same smile. Giving one last 'thank you, I love you' she was gone like the wind that howled outside the windows. The silence that followed her exit had the ringing in your ears become a bit to unbearable. Removing yourself from the couch, you travel down to your room and grab a quick change of footwear.
Today would be a good day to explore the town, or at least good enough to get your mind out of the dark slump of trying to acclimate to its' new body and abilities.
Making your way towards the door, a small flicker of shadow catches your eye.
"Hello?" You call. You know that Rhys is most likely with Feyre and Azriel is also probably there because of Elaine, so you dismiss it quickly after a moment, chalking it up to just a trick of the light.
Opening the door, the slight chill on the wind has a shiver run through you, but the sun quickly chased it away. Breathing a sigh, you look at the vastness of the stairs below you.
No time like the present.
Taking one step at a time and avid breaks when needed, you would rather not admit to yourself just how much time that trek took. However, upon reaching the bottom, the satisfaction that filled you outweighed the journey. Walking down the streets of Velaris, the bustling normality of the people filled you with ease. As your heels clicked against the stones below, your gaze just missed the little shadow that trailed behind your body.
Taking in the colors and vibrant people, the ease and happiness that covered their faces had the ache in your gut grow more and more. Your mind wandered to if you would ever be that happy and mundane. With everything that had happened so far, the familiar life in the human forest (although had its struggles) seemed like an ideal. It was the lack of routine, lack of knowledge, the newly sprouted life, the misplacement, all of it plus more. You didn't notice your breathing gain more weight and take longer to fill your lungs than it did at the house. You also didn't notice the little skitter of the shadow that had followed you as it raced away towards some unseen location. The heat in your body seemed to increase as the sight of a simple family loving and walking together entered your mind.
Would anyone love you like this?
You couldn't think.
Ducking into a nearby ally, the overhead sheets and covering allowed it to be shaded and darker than the streets 20 feet away. Even then, the darkness of the ally seemed to illuminate with your presence there. However, it wasn't the light, it was the lack of grasp of oxygen you could inhale and the strenuous shaking your body couldn't stop. The tears that fell without your knowledge burned their tracks into your skin and sizzled as they hit the ground. Your body gave way to the spasms that took ahold of you as your mind raced. Burring your head into your knees, you attempted to shut the world out and let your mind slow but to no avail. You wished the darkness of the alley would swallow you whole, allow the sun and light to escape you being seen just this once.
Almost as if your prayers where in fact answered, the light surrounding you died as the darkness of the ally surrounded you. Picking your head up to view what cloud or magical being answered your plea, your eyes were met with those of hazel crouching Infront of you.
"Azriel?" You hadn't met this male for more than a couple days ago. He was nice, offering to go with you places or chat every so often. You had a couple nightly talks with him where you shared some stories between the two of you. Nothing out of the ordinary though, you felt safe around him when he was near. Confusion washed your features and for a moment your brain stopped running in circles and focused on why the male might be in front of you in this very unfortunate situation.
"You're okay." His large hands had gently pried your head from between your own. He Slowly, as if not to spook you further, reached for your hands and took them in his own. As twisted as it sounded, the morbid scarring that littered his skin grounded you further and pulled you back to this moment and out of that forsaken cell and cold water. "Focus on me, breathe."
The ease of your breath returned as the seeming dark cloud that surrounded you peeled back revealing that same dampened alleyway. However, the slight char on the walls and burns on the ground was distinct enough to question. Looking around, more of those marks surrounded you but faded as it got further from you. Opening your mouth to ask, a quick look from the male had you hesitant as he shook his head.
"One thing at a time sunshine." You nod, ignoring the small butterfly that hatched in your stomach at the nickname, but the pain in your head from the little outburst brought you back to reality. Bringing your hand up to caress the muscle between your eyes, Azriel scanned you from head to toe checking for any other possible injuries. "Let's get you back to the house, okay? Have Madja take a look at you and maybe give you something to help process."
Although the beginning of his statement was directed at you, for an answer, the second part was mumbled more to himself.
"Okay." The short response was all you could get past your lips as he sent you a small smile and opened his arms.
Looking at him questionably, he held back a chuckle.
"Have you never flown?" Shaking your head, no, you had never flown before. Winnowed? Yes, but never in the arms of one of the three males residing in the same house at you. The aspect of Azriel being your first had a little flush cover your cheeks. He approached you carefully, scanning your eyes for any aversion to being touched or space invaded. If you didn't just have a literally breakdown in the middle of Velaris, you could've sworn there was a deeper emotion residing in his eyes.
Guilt?
Worry?
Longing?
You couldn't place it and decided not to keep the process waiting. Taking a step towards him, he kept his arms spread out to accompany your space against his.
"Wrap your arms around me." His voice was lowered with your closer proximity. Slowly you brought your arms to wrap around the back of his neck. He waited until you settled there before moving to hoist you up into his arms and walk slightly out of the alley to give his wings more room to take flight.
While doing so, you couldn't help but settle into his warmth as it felt nice against our colder frame. With all the adrenaline wearing off, you were left shivering.
"Make sure to hold on." He noted, which was all the notice you got before suddenly you two were no longer on the ground. Tightening your grip instinctually, you shut your eyes as you could practically feel the male smile at your nature.
"How did you get down there anyway?" With the loud wind it was hard to hear, but again due to the lack of space between the two of you his voice rang clear.
"I walked."
"Down those?" Without realizing the easygoing atmosphere he created, you had peered open your eyes to look down at the stairs you both were currently soaring over. Only a brief look however as you still had some human tendencies and did have a slight aversion to heights.
"Yeah." You nodded and went to shut your eyes once more to finish out the flight, but as you did you caught sight of a new look on the spymaster's face.
Pride.
Landing as softly as possible, Madja was already there waiting for the two of you to arrive. Without thinking, you blamed it on the spymaster's shadows (but grateful they were there). Feyre also stood to the side of her, worry wringing her hands again and you let out a sigh of defeat.
Stumbling out of Azriel's arms, he steadied you, giving a once over before his high lady had shot him an inquiring look. She looked at you shortly after.
"You are never to lie to me again Y/n, you hear?" Her chastising voice was filled with love and worry all the same.
But before you could open your mouth to respond with a thousand reasons why you might, a certain male beat you too it.
"Don't go too hard on her, admittedly we have all been a bit busy to check in." You both glanced back at the male in question as his shadows wrapped around him in song. He has said it was so to promise his attention to fix the problem, which warmed your core.
"She will be okay Feyre." Meeting eye contact with him, he had sent you a small nod of his head and smile before disappearing into the dark.
Your best friend looked at you in question, but a deeper thought was spinning in her head. However, the little throat clear of the healer nearby jumpstarted the next 24 hours of care and therapy from your best friend and the best healers in Prythian. The whole endeavor couldn't tear your thoughts to a certain inner court male and the way his arms felt around you.
Maybe you would be okay.
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citrus-moonlight · 15 days ago
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As I often do, I've seen a few posts going around lately lamenting the lack of interaction with fanfiction/fanart here on Tumblr as well as AO3, but after reading a particular comment last night I just need to say this:
If someone tells you that the lack of response to sharing their writing is making them feel so upset that they're thinking of quitting writing altogether, don't tell them that's not a good mindset to have and they should just have fun with it and write for themselves. (have you just tried not being sad? you'll feel so much better!)
Even if you're a writer who felt that way once upon a time but then you changed your mindset so that you don't rely on others' feedback for validation and now you're so much happier, that's not helpful. Because that's obviously not what the person who is feeling sad and defeated is able to do right now, and for most writers/creators that's never going to be possible.
And it shouldn't have to be.
Especially here. Especially fanfiction.
Fanfiction is something that's created because someone loves something and wants to share it with others who love the same thing. And this is specifically a fandom space, somewhere that is supposed to be a community where discussion and dialogue can and is encouraged to happen between the people who write and the people who read. So when there's radio silence when you share something in this kind of space, do you really not see how that would be discouraging?
Because of course I write for myself - I would never get anything down on the page if I didn't - but I share because ultimately I want someone else out there to read what I wrote, and with any luck, to get some joy out of it. But if no one tells me they did, how am I supposed to know? As far as I know I've just been yelling into the void. As far as I know, all that work wasn't worth it.
A metaphor I've seen as an example is that it would be like having someone invite you over and cooking an entire delicious, heartfelt meal, you eat it all without saying anything, and then just leave. Do you not see how that would be upsetting?
We put so much of ourselves into what we write, bits of our hearts and souls and the things that we love and are exploring and are interested in or confused about. It's such a vulnerable thing to share something you've created, so when you tell someone that they shouldn't care if someone else reads what they wrote or tells them that they liked it, you're dismissing a very real and valid experience for so many creators out there.
Because regardless of how slow or fast a writer is, or how big or small their fandom is, it's still hard and takes time and energy and dedication and love - all of it in between our day to day lives from the mundanities to the heartbreaks - to even get something to the point where we're comfortable sharing.
Now, I know that not everyone thinks that writers are silly or selfish or entitled when they ask for feedback. Before I started writing again after many, many years, the main reason I didn't really comment on fics very often wasn't because I didn't think that the authors deserved feedback, it was more that I didn't really think that it would matter. That my comments would just be noted - if read at all - and brushed aside and then they would continue on about their day.
I could not have possible been more wrong. You might think you're just one person and it's just one comment but it's amazing how it can turn a day (or week, or month) around. How it can encourage someone to finish a story, or make a connection they'd been struggling with, or even just manage to add 500 words to a WIP. It is truly incredible to hear that someone loved something I wrote, and if you've ever commented on or reblogged one of my fics, please know that it truly means the world to me.
I've gone through a rough time with all of this lately myself, but I'm doing a bit better now (for the moment), so I just wanted to say this, in part to remind myself when it inevitably gets hard again:
If you're reading this, whether you're a friend or you've never seen me on your dash and never will again: I'm sorry it hurts right now. I'm sorry you feel discouraged and lonely, that it doesn't feel like it's worth it anymore, that you're struggling to find a reason to continue.
But I desperately hope that you keep writing. I hope you keep sharing. You're worth it. I know it's hard, and if you don't want to and you're just tired of the cycle of giving so much of yourself and getting so little in return, I understand that, too. It's ok to be in your feelings about it, it's ok to feel drained by it, and even though knowing you're not alone in your experience doesn't change anything and it still sucks, it's normal and valid and there's nothing wrong with you feeling the way that you do.
But I hope that you are able to find the joy in it again, because you deserve it. ❤️
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qu1cks1lversb1tch · 14 days ago
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Time for a serious discussion.
It's genuinely upsetting to me how toxic the Hazbin Hotel fandom has been getting in recent months.
At no point should you ship two characters to the point that you send creators death threats because they wrote a Vox x Fem!Reader fic and you ship RadioStatic. Shipping Vox and Alastor because of their currently (mostly) unexplained past is totally cool. I love the fanart. I love the fics.
But the bullying isn't okay. The death threats most certainly are not okay.
Words hurt. And while that may be the intention, everyone handles words differently.
A fanfiction is almost never that serious.
A fanfiction is NEVER worth coming for someone's writing style, personal insecurities, etc. NEVER EVER EVER.
I've seen blogs I've followed for years deactivate their blogs entirely because they got the courage to post their FANTASTIC WRITING and got tons of hate/backlash because there's people out there who believe that RadioApple, RadioStatic, ect. are the only acceptable things to write for.
I've seen blogs go on hiatus for months at a time because someone bullied them for liking and writing for Hazbin Hotel.
It needs to stop.
A whole bunch of you are acting like CHILDREN over a cartoon made for ADULTS, all because of a non-canon ship.
You're on Tumblr, Toots. You're gonna see x reader fics. You're gonna see x oc fics. You're gonna see oc fanart with canon characters. You're gonna see just about everything.
If you want specific fics related to a specific ship, look up the tags for that ship and read those fics but don't degrade someone who put a piece of their soul into a fic all because you think a Samsung TV should fuck a stag instead of the reader.
Do. . . Do you realize how little sense that makes. . ?
If you see something you like: like, reblog, comment
If you see something you don't like: FUCKIN SCROLL AWAY
For the love of Lucifer's cute little tight ass, fix this fandom. I refuse to see it end up with the same toxicity that the Stranger Things and Marauders fandoms ended up with.
FOR. THE. VERY. SAME. REASONS.
I'm an extremely nice person, my fellow Hazbin writing friends can attest to that. . . But if y'all keep bullying these talented creators into deleting/deactivating their blogs, I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND 😭
It costs literally nothing to be kind. So be kind. Or else.
Xoxo, Silver ♡
Tagging the big three so it this gets seen.
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stylespctals · 3 months ago
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The nanny | Part 1 - Pining
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Summary: where Y/N is the nanny for a little girl named Stevie Styles. Her job consists of traveling all around the world with the girls rockstar dad - Harry Styles. What happens when Y/N and Harry start having feelings for one another?
A/N: This is my first writing on tumblr sorry if i’m rusty! I’ve written fanfictions for other celebs but never harry, hope you enjoy!
Word count: 1.4k
warnings: sickening fluff, sexual acts, mention of death, mentioning childbirth, harry being such a loving boy, y/n being shy
Read part 2 here
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“Stevie I’m sorry your daddy won’t be home till later.” you say, trying to comfort the crying four year old.
“But I want daddy.” She screams. Starting to throw a tantrum; you don’t know how to stop it. Stevie has never thrown one before.
You became the nanny for Stevie two years ago when Harry realized it wasn’t possible to travel the world alone with a two year old.
Stevie’s mother passed when giving birth, her and Harry weren’t together. The conception was a drunken one night stand where Jessie- Stevie’s mother- convinced Harry she was on birth control. She wasn’t. Harry was so angry after that, but he also knew he was at fault for not taking an extra precaution. After she passed he mourned her pretty hard. He knew the effect it would have on his baby girl.
He realized he was relying too much on friends to look after Stevie when he was busy that he ended being forced to bring her to events she wasn’t welcome at. He knew he needed to get a nanny but he wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone with a stranger. That’s when he met you.
You and him met at a bar. Jeff invited Harry out to drinks with him and few of his and Glenne’s friends. You and Glenne were super close.
You guys hit it off super well and Harry knew you were the person he wanted as his nanny. He found out you are a nanny and immediately asked you if you would be his. He offered you triple what you other options would’ve paid, which made you laugh and assure him you didn’t need that and you would be honored to nanny such a sweet girl.
And here you are now, best friends with an international pop star and the nanny of the best girl in the world; trying to calm down the sweet girl.
“Shhh Stevie it’s okay, daddy will back soon I promise.” you say soothingly, trying to stop the four year old from squirming out of your arms.
“No!” the little girl screams, getting up and running to the couch; she puts her head on it and starts hitting it.
“Stevie Anne that is not a way to act!” Harry says sternly. Walking into a scene he never had before.
“Daddy!” she cries as she runs up and hugs his legs. Crying the hardest she ever has.
Harry frowns, realizing something is wrong.
He picks her up and places her on his hip, she wraps her arms around his neck and sits there and cries.
“What’s wrong love bug.” he says moving her curly red hair away from her face.
She’s a spitting image of Harry, except for her bright ginger hair.
You sit there and watch as Harry talks to Stevie in a calm soft voice and wipes her tears away. Smiling loving how different he is with her.
“I’m going to go put her to bed.” he mouths to her, Stevie was falling asleep in the comfort of her father’s arms.
You nod, he takes off towards the steps. You start cleaning up.
You’re in the kitchen when harry returns downstairs. He sits down at the bar stool and sighs.
“Is everything okay?” you ask. Grabbing him a glass of wine and sitting down next to him.
“Thanks.” he says taking a sip of the wine. “She was just really upset that i’ve been gone, it’s been a while since she’s been without seeing me all day. I didn’t know it would put this much effect on her but now I realize it is.” he says, rubbing his forehead while downing his glass of wine.
“Ay take it easy.” grabbing the wine glass out of his hand you go and set it in the sink. “You hate drinking while on tour. If you’re going to you gotta take it slow, alright?”
“Yeah yeah I know sorry i’m just stressed I feel terrible for making her upset. And i know she probably took it out on you, I hate to put you through that. She’s usually such a great kid and never has any problems.” he groans, putting his head against the granite countertops.
“H, it’s alright. This is what i signed up for, to be a nanny for this precious little girl through all the bad moments. Okay?” you say, placing your hand on his, making tingles run up your spine at the contact.
He looks up at you with this soft look in his eyes that you can’t decipher. He squeezes your hand with a smile and mumbles a thank you.
You smile at him and he pulls you into a tight hug.
You feel him take a deep breath through his nose; nuzzling into your soft hair.
He plants two kisses on your temple and pulls away, looking you deeply into your eyes. “You’re the best you know that?” he says, not taking his eyes off yours.
You get a little flustered under his gaze and look away blushing.
“Yeah whatever.” you shrug, hiding your eyes from his. His hand grabs your chin and makes you look at him again
“I’m serious Y/N. I couldn’t ask for someone better to do this with. I thought I was going to be alone raising her and I was so scared. Then you came along and you’re the biggest help and everything I needed to help me and her through this.” He says moving his hand to your cheek.
This brings tears to your eyes; you pull him for a right hug again and cry into his shoulder. “Thank you for letting me into her life. I don’t know what i’d do without you and her.” you sniffle, pulling away to wipe and your eyes.
He smiles and wipes your tears.
Oh my god you’re melting.
“I think maybe we should both get some sleep we seem pretty emotional.” he chuckles as he stands up out of his seat. He holds his hand out for you and you take it.
“Come on i’ll run a bath for you. You deserve it.” he says dragging you to the en-suite bathroom.
You swing your feet giddily as you pull yourself up on the counter and watch him prepare the bath. Is it bad you can feel yourself getting wet beneath your panties? Something about a man pampering you really gets you going.
“Okay all set.” he walks over to you and lifts you up off the counter. Making you smile. “See you in the morning sweets, I got a free day tomorrow and I want to spend it with you and Stevie, so be up and ready by 10! Have a surprise for you two.” he kisses your cheek again which makes your heart race.
“Goodnight, H.” you blush. Again. He gives you a wink then leaves the room.
You get undressed and into the bath.
You shamefully rub yourself to an orgasm thinking of your boss.
——————————————————————————
Harry’s fucked. Being in love with your nanny?
These type of things only happens in books.
I guess not for Harry.
You were constantly on Harry’s mind. He woke up thinking about you and went to bed thinking about you.
He also thought about you in other ways. Which he was a little shameful about.
With his hand wrapped around his shaft stroking himself thinking about you underneath him whining and begging him to fuck you.
He can’t even be shameful when that’s all on his mind.
He knows it’s wrong but he’s been in love with you since the beginning. He just doesn’t know how to tell you.
He imagines all the way he’s could confess to you, but, what if you don’t feel the same? That’s a nagging fear in the back of Harry’s mind.
What if you’re just in it for the money? What if you are doing this because he’s Harry Styles? That sounds so narcissistic he thinks but he can’t help his mind go there after that being the case in multiple of his past relationships.
He try’s to rid these thoughts as he cleans himself up, then nestles into his covers.
“I’m going to confess tomorrow.” He says to himself, not even knowing if that’s the truth or not.
——————
Thank you so much for reading I hope you enjoyed, I will have part to you tomorrow!
I also will be making a post about request if you have any!
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fullsunstrawberry · 2 months ago
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Dirty little secret
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Synopsis: Childhood best friends' relationship is strained when you drunkenly sleep with his new best friend. Chenle’s panic about y/n regretting their one night stand turns into a secret relationship. Just as you think everything is fine, you're faced with the ultimatum: “It’s either him or me.” or in other words: A small silly little pinky promise will destroy a friendship
Genre: friends to lovers, hidden romance, forbidden (not really) lovers??
Content Warnings: swearing, dreamies getting drunk, mention of getting blackout drunk, one-night stand (not described), turned more, ANGST with fluffy end, Jisung is a little shit in this, very vanilia and sweet smut.
Word count: 7k
a/n: sorry this was a bit later than i expected for it come out! a lot of stuff popped up this weekend :( ALSO I HAVE TO TAG @lowkeychenle IN EVERYTHING CHENLE RELATED SOOOO LOVE YAH <3
Teaser Taglist: @haechansbbg @bunnychui @theandypark @bigjugz03 @babbymochiiii @xrminarlert34
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"Come on! You never miss a hangout," Jisung whined into the phone.
“They always end up with me getting drunk and sleeping on the dorm couch, no thanks,” you replied.
“This time it’s at Chenle’s house. You can even sleep call dibs on his spare bedroom!” Jisung reasoned.
“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” You already knew the answer.
“Nope, see you later!”
Once Jisung ended the call, you had a moment to think. Great, you got yourself into another hangout. It’s not that you hate hanging out with the guys, but you've started to develop a little crush on Chenle.
He’s been extra flirty with you lately. It’s not because he likes you. He's been playful with everyone! Well, that's what you try to tell yourself.
But you can't like him! Jisung would go nuts. He was the one to introduce you to all the guys, promising you wouldn't like any of them when you were twelve. But it seems like Jisung has held you up to that silly pinky promise.
One time you told Jisung that Renjun's new haircut looked really good on him and he freaked out, claiming you were falling for him and it was against the “Bro code.” This made you confused because you’re pretty sure that's not what bro code is, but he looked very upset, so you didn't question it.
Now there is no way you will ever admit to liking Chenle. If he got upset with Renjun, you know he would be furious if you even flirted back with Chenle. That’s his best friend! He’s not the type to be happy about his boy and girl best friend dating. You're sure he’s told Chenle so you never took his flirting too seriously. But that didn't stop your heart from beating after every time he looked at you.
A group of guys yelled as soon as Chenle opened the door. “They’re already this rowdy,” you sighed, already coming up with excuses as to why you had to leave.
Chenle laughed at your disapproval written all over your face. “Stick by me, I swear I'm not as bad as them.”
You rolled your eyes, knowing that he was literally the loudest one. You let out a “mmh” before walking around him to be greeted with a bunch of “Y/NNNNs.” You could definitely tell they started drinking without you by the way Donghyuck reached out to you with grabby hands.
“Already starting without me!” you grabbed an already-opened beer on the table and took a swig out of it.
“It's not our fault you're always late,” Jaemin teased.
“Sorry, I have a life.”
“Reading fanfiction?” Renjun giggled.
“Can’t believe I'm already getting attacked, I just arrived!”
“I told you to stick by me,” Chenle laughed.
“You're right. It’s me and you now… Let’s get drunk!” You smiled, grabbing another beer to give to Chenle.
You're glad you didn't have to wake up on a couch hungover. Waking up in a bed surrounded by the comfiest blanket wrapped around you felt like heaven. Not ever wanting to wake up.
You stretched to feel the coldness of the other side of the bed. But your leg hit another leg that wasn't your own. You don’t remember anything after Donghyuck’s karaoke challenge. Did someone sleep over too? Mark was supposed to pick up the guys and bring them back to the dorm… Maybe he forgot?
Moving your head to see who ended up passed out with you, you froze.
“WHY DON’T I HAVE ANY CLOTHES ON?!?”
Should you look? Should you not look? You slowly turn your head to check who you fell asleep with. Maybe you didn't hook up with one of your friends… Maybe you were just overheated and took off your clothes.
Turning over, you yelp in shock. Chenle is still sleeping next to you. Even worse, he’s shirtless, and you don’t really want to check under the sheets to confirm your suspicions.
But before you could panic any further, you noticed that Chenle was still sound asleep, a peaceful expression on his face. You took a moment to calm yourself down and gather your thoughts. Maybe there was a logical explanation for this situation.
You carefully wiggled out of the bed, making sure not to disturb Chenle. As you grabbed your clothes scattered across the room, memories of last night started to flood back. The drunken laughter, the friendly banter, and the way all of the guys left. All you could remember was cleaning up the kitchen because you felt bad leaving it such a mess. Then Chenle's hands grabbed yours in protest and said he would clean it up in the morning. But instead of agreeing you tried to pull his hands away which caused him to press into you.
Shaking your head to bring yourself back to reality you quickly threw your clothes back on and made your way downstairs. Needing some water because of how dry your throat felt. You didn't want to even think about why your throat hurt...
Once downstairs you can finally think about what the hell just happened. But no, life hates you. Instead, you were met with Mark washing dishes.
"Finally you woke up" Mark laughed before turning around and being met with a face he did not expect to see.
"Why did you come down from Chenle’s room?" 
You blinked at Mark's question, trying to come up with a plausible response. "Oh, I just woke up and wanted some water," you stammered, attempting to act casual.
Mark raised an eyebrow, his expression skeptical. "Water? Really? Because it looked like you were in quite a rush to get out of there."
You felt the heat rising to your cheeks as you fumbled for words. "I just... didn't want to disturb Chenle. He's still sleeping, and I didn't want to wake him up."
Mark's eyes narrowed, studying your face. "Uh-huh. Sure." He seemed unconvinced, but he didn't press further. Instead, he went back to washing the dishes.
You took the opportunity to escape the awkward situation and headed towards the kitchen table “What do I do Mark, I fucked up.” 
Mark sighed, turned off the water, and dried his hands on a kitchen towel before looking at you with a serious expression. "Well, it depends on what you want. Did something happen between you and Chenle last night?"
You hesitated for a moment before deciding to be honest with Mark. "I don't remember much, but I woke up in his bed, and I think we hooked up. I have no idea what went down, and I'm panicking."
Mark sighed again, his expression softening. "Look, Y/N, shit happens. People get drunk, things get blurry. Maybe nothing happened, or maybe something did. The important thing is to communicate with Chenle. Figure out what both of you remember and how you both feel about it."
"But what if he thinks it’s gross or something?" you worriedly questioned.
Mark shook his head. "Chenle is a good guy, and he knows how things can happen when everyone's been drinking. Just talk to him. Honesty is the key here."
Taking a deep breath, you nodded. 
• ──────── •
Before you could process the situation, the sound of hurried footsteps echoed down the stairs. Chenle, struggling to pull on his hoodie and hastily reaching for his keys, descended in a rush of movement.
"Easy there, you going to hurt yourself" Mark teased, chuckling as Chenle glanced up with an expression of sheer panic.
"Mark, fuck! I messed up big time. Y/N's going to hate me, and she'll never want to see me again. I genuinely like her, and I've messed everything up," Chenle exclaimed, the urgency in his voice evident.
Mark raised an eyebrow, exchanging a knowing look with you. "Well, you might want to talk to her about that instead of assuming the worst," he suggested.
Chenle's eyes widened as he finally noticed your presence. "Y/N, I... I'm so sorry if I did something wrong. I don't really remember what happened, but I know we something did happen, and now I'm just freaking out," he rambled, looking genuinely distressed.
You took a deep breath, trying to ease the tension in the room. "Chenle, let's just talk about it, okay? I don't remember much either, but panicking won't help. We need to figure out what actually happened and how we both feel about it."
Chenle nodded, relief washing over his face. "Yeah, you're right. We should talk." He looked at Mark, who gave him an encouraging nod. 
“This is something you two have to figure out.” Mark grabbed his jacket and left. 
As Mark left, you and Chenle sat down at the kitchen table, exchanging nervous glances. The awkwardness in the air was noticeable, but both of you knew that avoiding the conversation wouldn't solve anything.
"Okay, so, let's try to piece together what happened last night," you suggested, breaking the silence.
Chenle nodded, his eyes focused on the table. "I remember the guys leaving, and you were helping me with the dishes. Then... things got a bit blurry."
You sighed, realizing that your memories matched his. "Yeah, I remember that too. But after that, it's all a blur. I woke up in your bed, and we're both... well, you know."
Chenle ran his fingers through his hair, looking frustrated. "I don't want things to be weird between us. I genuinely like you, Y/N. I just hope I didn't mess everything up."
You reached out, placing a comforting hand on his. "Chenle, I really like you too. Maybe we can start over?"
Chenle's eyes brightened at your words, a genuine smile forming on his face. "Yeah, let's start over. How about I take you to a restaurant and we can finish this conversation.” 
“Are you asking me on a date!” You smiled.
Chenle grinned, nodding enthusiastically. "Yeah, I am. I think we could both use a fresh start. We can go right now!”
You laughed and shook your head ‘no’ “We can go later, I have to get ready for it.”
“Oh…yeah ops” Chenle laughed standing back up “How about tonight?” 
“Can’t wait a little longer?” You teased.
“Hell no! Not when it comes to you.”
You couldn't help but blush at Chenle's enthusiastic response. "Alright then, tonight it is. I'll make sure to be ready for our date."
Chenle grinned, his excitement contagious. "Perfect! I'll pick you up later. 
• ──────── •
As you got ready for the date, you took extra care with your appearance. You wanted to make a good impression, to show Chenle that you were genuinely interested in exploring this connection further. You could already feel the butterflies in your stomach
The hours crept by slowly, each minute feeling like an eternity as anticipation filled the air.
 Finally, the moment arrived. Chenle looked exceptionally handsome in his casual attire, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He smiled warmly as he handed them to you, his eyes filled with genuine affection.
"You look…beautiful," he said softly, causing your cheeks to flush with a rosy hue.
"Thank you," you replied, feeling yourself becoming more at ease in his presence. "You look pretty amazing yourself."
Chenle chuckled and offered you his arm. "Shall we?” 
You linked your arm with his, nodding with a smile. "Let's go."
The date with Chenle was everything you’d hoped for and more. The restaurant was a familiar place, a small little shop that you once mentioned wanting to visit before. The atmosphere was cozy and inviting, with wooden tables, soft cushions, and flickering candles that cast gentle shadows on the walls. Soft music played in the background, a soothing blend of piano and strings that set the perfect mood for the evening.
Chenle was charming from the moment he sat down, his eyes sparkling with excitement and if you didn’t know him well you could have missed the nervousness he expressed through his body language. He pulled your chair out for you, a sweet gesture that made your heart flutter. 
“You remembered?” you asked, trying to sound casual.
“Of course I did,” he replied, a smile playing on his lips. “I’ve been looking forward to taking you here.” You tried to keep your blush in check, but his smile made it impossible. 
His earlier jitters seemed to fade as the night went on, replaced by genuine enthusiasm. He asked about your day, listened intently, and shared stories that made you laugh, his laughter infectious. It was clear he had put thought into every aspect of the evening, from the restaurant choice to the easy flow of conversation.
Throughout the evening, Chenle’s attentiveness and charm were evident. He complimented you effortlessly. “I know I already told you but you look absolutely beautiful,” he said sincerely.
“Thank you,” you said, feeling your cheeks warm. “You’re not looking too shabby yourself.” You joked, earning a small laugh from him.
As the waiter brought your dishes, Chenle made a toast. “To a fantastic evening and getting to know each other even better.”
You clinked glasses. “To new beginnings.”
You both laughed together, “Was that too cheesy?” Chenle asked. 
You shook your head no, “This is just crazy, I didn’t expect all of this from you. You know? Being so romantic!”
Chenle chuckled, his eyes softening as he looked at you. "I wanted to make sure our first real date was special. I know things got off to a confusing start, but I really like you, Y/N. I want to see where this can go."
Your heart fluttered at his words, feeling a warmth spread on your cheeks. "I really like you too, Chenle. And I appreciate all the effort you've put into tonight."
The conversation flowed easily. You shared stories, jokes, and dreams, discovering things you never knew about each other. Chenle's eyes never left yours, his gaze soft.
“You know,” Chenle said, leaning in slightly, “I’ve been really looking forward to this. It’s been a while since I’ve had a date where I felt this comfortable.”
“I’m glad you’re having a good time,” you said, your heart fluttering at his words. “I am too.”
During a brief pause in the conversation, Chenle reached across the table and took your hand. “I’ve been thinking,” he said softly, “I really enjoy being with you. I’d love for us to spend more time together, if you’re up for it.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “I’d like that a lot.”
Chenle smiled, a mix of relief and happiness on his face. “Great. I was hoping you would.”
As the night drew to a close, Chenle walked you to your door. The night air was cool against your skin, a gentle breeze rustling the leaves overhead. 
“Do you think we can make this a regular thing?” Chenle asked, his voice hopeful.
You smiled warmly. “I’d like that a lot.”
Chenle’s face lit up with a bright, genuine grin. “Me too. I’m really glad we talked things through.”
He leaned in, and for a brief, breathless moment, you thought he might kiss you. But instead, he pulled you into a warm hug, holding you close.
When you finally pulled away and said goodnight, you closed the door with a smile on your face, feeling like you were floating on air. Chenle had gone beyond all your expectations, and as you leaned against the door, you couldn’t help but replay the night in your mind, already missing him. 
Reaching into your bag you grabbed your phone and called Chenle. The phone rang a couple of times before he picked up. 
“Hey, you miss me already?” Chenle’s voice came through the phone. 
You chuckled at his playful tone. “Maybe… only just a little bit.” 
“What’s on your mind?” Chenle's voice held a teasing lilt as he waited for your response.
You hesitated for a moment, mumbling “Just wishing you would have kissed me” 
Chenle went silent for a moment, and you could almost hear the smile in his voice when he spoke again. "Well, I can fix that."
Before you could even process his words, you heard a light knock on your door. Confusion filled you as you made your way back, wondering if your mind was playing tricks on you. As you opened the door, there stood Chenle, breath heavy.
"Surprise," he said softly.
Your heart leaped in your chest as Chenle closed the gap between you, cupping your face gently with his free hand. Leaning in, Chenle pressed his lips against yours in a soft, tender kiss.
As Chenle pulled back slightly, his eyes searched yours for any sign of hesitation or discomfort. But all he found was a dazed smile on your face. With a chuckle, he leaned in again, deepening the kiss.
His hands found your waist and he pressed you further into your house. With one foot, he closed the door behind him, never breaking the kiss between you two.
Chenle pulled away, a small whine leaving your lips in the absence of his touch. He chuckled before making sure your door was locked and turning back towards you. 
Without a word, Chenle lifted you effortlessly into his arms, carrying you towards the living room and towards your bedroom. He set you down gently on your bed, his eyes never leaving yours as he caressed your cheek with a tender touch.
The tension filled the room. Chenle's gaze was intense, you could feel your heart racing.
"I've been thinking of you," he confessed, his voice husky with emotion. "I can't hold back anymore."
You reached up to cup his face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. "Then don't," you whispered, barely able to believe this was really happening
Chenle’s lips met yours again in an instant, this kiss deeper and more urgent. His hands roamed your sides, pulling you closer, each touch sending shivers down your spine and making you dizzy with desire.
He broke the kiss, resting his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice soft, breathless, but filled with genuine concern.
You nodded, your fingers brushing through his hair. “Yes, I’m sure,” you whispered.
Chenle smiled, his expression softening. “Good,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. He trailed kisses down your jawline, his touch igniting every nerve in your body. You tugged him closer, and he responded eagerly, deepening the kiss once more.
Chenle’s movements grew more confident, more assured, as he felt your response. He gently guided you back against the couch, his body hovering over yours. His kisses grew more passionate and demanding as his hands continued to explore. You could feel the tension building between you, the air thick with anticipation of what was going to happen.
In one swift motion, he pulled away just long enough to remove his shirt, tossing it aside before his hands returned to you, now with a new urgency. You mirrored his actions, discarding your dress and pulling him back down, feeling the sensation of his skin against yours. The closeness amplified every touch.
Chenle’s lips trailed down your body, leaving a path of kisses along your collarbone and down to your chest. His hands were everywhere, exploring, teasing, learning every curve and contour of your body. A soft moan escaped your lips as his kisses became more insistent, his mouth and hands working together to drive you wild.
You pulled him closer, needing to feel him, to have every inch of him pressed against you. Your hands roamed his back, your nails lightly scratching as you both lost yourselves in the heat of the moment.
“God, I’ve been wanting this for so long,” Chenle murmured against your skin as he pushed into you. His words sent a fresh wave of warmth through you, and you responded by wrapping your legs around his waist, drawing him even closer. The sensation of him against you, the weight of his body, the heat between you—it was almost too much.
Your breaths mingled, rapid and uneven, as the rhythm between you quickened. Chenle’s hands moved with purpose, guiding your hips as you moved together, a perfect and desperate synchrony that had you both gasping. You could feel every beat of his heart, every shiver of anticipation as you inched closer and closer to the edge.
“Fuck, i’m so close” Chenle groaned, picking up his pace. You couldn’t even respond, only broken moans leaving your lips.
As both of you hit your climax together, moans and gasps filled the room, giving way to an intense wave of pleasure that washed over you both.
Chenle pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours as he met your gaze. He wanted to say something but he didn’t instead his body collapsed against the sheets next to you.
His arms wrapped around you tightly, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back as you both lay in a comfortable silence. “I don’t want this to end,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to your temple.
As you drifted off to sleep in Chenle’s arms, the events of the night replayed in your mind, leaving you with a sense of contentment you hadn’t felt in a long time. You didn’t know what was going to happen next.
• ──────── •
Over the next few weeks, your bond with Chenle grew stronger, despite your attempts to keep things under wraps—especially from Jisung. But it was becoming harder to hide. Chenle’s growing affection was obvious, and your friends were starting to pick up on the subtle changes in your behavior.
Chenle conviced the guys to start doing movie night at the guy’s dorms instead of his house. Telling everyone that his house was a mess and he didn’t want to clean it. Hiding the real reason. That they started catching on to you staying later than everyone else. He wanted to be able to hang out after, just the two of you. 
“What are we watching tonight?” Mark asked, plopping down in the middle of the couch.
“Avatar,” Renjun suggested.
Donghyuck groaned. “Not Avatar again!”
“We watched *Top Gun* last time, so let’s watch the sequel,” you offered, taking your usual spot at the end of the couch.
Mark nodded and started searching for the movie.
Chenle slid in beside you, so casually that you didn’t think much of it. But in hindsight, you should have known it would cause some tension.
When Jisung finally joined with the popcorn, he automatically moved to sit next to you, just as he always did. But when he saw Chenle already there, he hesitated before sitting down beside him, hiding his confusion. If you hadn’t been so focused on Chenle, you might have noticed the brief furrow in Jisung’s brow. Instead, you were caught up in the excitement of being close to Chenle, hoping to sneak a few quiet moments together.
As the movie began and Jeno turned off the lights, you tried to relax, but Chenle’s presence beside you made your heart race. When his arm brushed against yours and his fingeres brushing against your thigh. Each small touch sent a shiver down your spine.
Jisung, sitting just inches away, stared at the screen, his face unreadable. He usually laughed along with everyone, throwing in his own jokes, but tonight he was unusually quiet. Occasionally, his eyes would drift toward you and Chenle, only to snap back to the movie when you glanced his way. If any of your friends noticed his unease, they didn’t mention it.
Jaemin, oblivious to the tension, tossed a piece of popcorn at Donghyuck after another snide remark about the movie. The usual banter continued, but you could feel a strange tension in the air, something you couldn’t quite understand.
A few scenes into the movie, Chenle’s hand found yours, his fingers lightly brushing yours before intertwining them. The simple gesture felt both comforting and thrilling. You knew you should be more careful, especially with Jisung so close, but it was hard to resist Chenle’s attention.
Jisung shifted uncomfortably. Though you were focused on Chenle, the small movement caught your attention. You turned to look at him just as he glanced away, his expression closed off and distant. It was so unlike him, and it tugged at your conscience.
Suddenly, Jeno, who had been relatively quiet, cleared his throat, catching everyone’s attention. “So... anyone notice how cozy these two are getting?” He nodded toward you and Chenle, a smirk on his face.
The room fell silent for a moment. Your cheeks burned as you pulled your hand from Chenle’s, hoping the dim lighting hid your embarrassment. Chenle chuckled softly, trying to play it off, but you could feel the tension building.
Jaemin snickered. “Took you long enough to notice, Jeno.”
You tried to laugh along, but the awkwardness was overwhelming. Jisung’s face remained unreadable, though you noticed his jaw tighten slightly. You wanted to say something to ease the tension, but the words wouldn’t come.
Mark, always the peacemaker, tried to steer the focus back to the movie. “Alright, let’s just watch the movie, yeah?”
But the mood had shifted. The lighthearted atmosphere was gone, and the weight of unspoken words hung in the air. Jisung’s silence was the most noticeable, and you had a sinking feeling that this wouldn’t end well.
As the movie played on, you found it increasingly difficult to concentrate. Instead, your thoughts swirled, questions nagging at you. What did Jisung think? Is he mad at you and Chenle? And more importantly, why did it matter so much?
When the film ended, everyone scattered—some headed to the kitchen for snacks, while others stayed on the couch, chatting. You felt a strange mix of relief and anxiety, glad that the movie was over but nervous about what might happen next.
As you stood up to stretch, you noticed Jisung was still on the couch, his eyes fixed on the screen as if deep in thought. You hesitated, feeling an urge to talk to him, to address the tension. But before you could do anything, Chenle leaned in close, his voice soft.
“I’m sorry,” Chenle whispered in your ear.
You couldn’t help but smile a little. Turning to face him, you whispered back, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Squeezing his hand lightly, trying to comfort him.
But you quickly pulled your hand away when you heard Jisung yell, “What is going on?!”
The room fell into a tense silence as Jisung’s voice echoed, his sudden outburst freezing everyone in place. All eyes turned to him, but his gaze was fixed on you and Chenle, a mix of confusion and hurt etched across his face.
You felt your heart drop, panic rising in your chest. Jisung rarely lost his cool, and seeing him like this made the situation all the more real. Chenle, who had been so calm and collected moments before, shifted uncomfortably beside you, clearly taken aback by Jisung's reaction.
Mark was the first to break the silence, his voice tentative. "Jisung, hey, it's just a movie night. Let's all just—"
But Jisung wasn’t having it. "No, it’s not just a movie night, Mark," he snapped, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Chenle. "Something's been going on, and no one's saying anything!"
You opened your mouth to say something, anything, to calm him down, but the words caught in your throat.
Chenle, sensing your distress, took a small step forward, placing himself slightly between you and Jisung. "Jisung, listen, it’s not what you think—"
"Then what is it?" Jisung demanded, his voice laced with frustration. "Because it sure looks like you two have been hiding something from all of us. From me."
The hurt in his voice cut through you, and guilt twisted in your stomach. Jisung wasn’t just angry; he was hurt. And you knew why. He’d always been open with his feelings, always the one to bring everyone together, and now, he felt left out—betrayed, even.
Donghyuck, usually the one to defuse any tension with a joke, stood awkwardly to the side. Renjun and Jaemin exchanged worried glances, while Jeno just stared at the floor, avoiding eye contact with anyone.
You took a deep breath, finally finding the courage to speak. "Jisung, I'm sorry. We didn’t mean to keep anything from you."
"Then why did you?" Jisung’s voice was softer now, but the hurt was still there, raw and real.
"Because we didn’t even know what was happening," you admitted, your voice shaking slightly. "We didn’t want to make things weird or hurt anyone’s feelings. Especially not yours."
Chenle nodded in agreement, his expression serious. "We weren’t trying to keep secrets, Jisung. It just…happened. And we’re sorry for how it’s affected you."
Jisung looked between the two of you, the anger slowly draining from his face, replaced by something sadder, more vulnerable. "I just don’t get why you didn’t talk to me. You always talk to me."
You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes. Jisung had always been there for you, always ready to listen, to help, and now you realized how much your secrecy had hurt him. "I’m sorry," you whispered, stepping closer to him. "I should have talked to you. I just…I just I didn’t want to mess up our friendship.”
For a long, tense moment, Jisung said nothing. His eyes were fixed on the floor, his thoughts clearly in turmoil. The room was thick with tension, everyone holding their breath, waiting for his response.
When he finally looked up, his expression was calmer, but there was a guardedness in his eyes that hadn't been there before. "You promised me," he said softly, the words tinged with quiet betrayal. "We promised never to keep secrets from each other."
Suddenly, his calm facade cracked, and anger surged through him. He pointed sharply at Chenle, his voice rising with emotion. "YOU PROMISED ME!"
Chenle looked down, guilt written across his face as Jisung continued, his voice trembling with a mix of hurt and frustration. "You promised me that you would never go after her. She was supposed to be off-limits."
The room seemed to shrink, the weight of Jisung's words hanging heavy in the air. Everyone else was too shocked to speak.
Chenle flinched at Jisung’s accusation, his expression one of regret and confusion. "Jisung," he began, voice barely above a whisper, "I didn’t plan any of this. I didn’t think I’d—"
"That’s the problem!" Jisung cut him off, his voice shaking. "You didn’t think! You just… acted. Everything is a joke to you."
You could feel the tears welling up, your heart aching at the sight of Jisung so broken, so unlike his usual self. This was the Jisung who’d been your rock, the one who always made you laugh when you were down, and now, you were the one who’d hurt him.
"Jisung, please," you pleaded, your voice cracking. "I didn’t know how to handle this. I never wanted to hurt you."
The room remained silent, everyone acutely aware that they were intruding on something intensely personal. Jeno shifted uncomfortably, Renjun bit his lip, and Donghyuck looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.
You finally broke the tense silence, your voice trembling. 'What can I do...?'
“Stop,” Jisung interrupted, his tone firm and unyielding. You frowned, confused by the sudden command.
“Stop this right now,” he said, frustration clear in his voice.
Before you could reply, Chenle spoke up, concern in his tone. “Jisung, what are you trying to say—”
“It’s either me or him,” Jisung interrupted, his eyes fixed on you with intensity.
Chenle glanced at you, waiting for your answer, but you found yourself unable to speak.
Before you could gather your thoughts, Chenle stepped back from you. “She chooses you.”
As he left, he murmured, “I’m not going to force you to choose.”
When the door closed behind him, an uneasy silence fell over the room. You looked around, noticing the apologetic expressions on the other guys’ faces.
You got all your stuff before looking at Jisung one more time and let out a small “I’m really sorry.” before leaving. 
• ──────── •
Days turned into weeks before you were able to hang out with the boys again. When you finally did, it was clear that Chenle wasn’t himself. The atmosphere felt strained and uneasy.
Chenle's usually cheerful demeanor was not there, and he seemed distant, lost in his own thoughts. The conversations among the group felt forced, and laughter that used to come easily now seemed rare.
As the day wore on, you found yourself increasingly concerned. When you finally got a moment alone with Chenle, you decided to address the issue. “Hey, it’s nice seeing you again.”
Chenle smiled a little bit, “It’s nice seeing you too.” A moment off awkward silence settled between you two. 
“Y/n, lets start over…For everyones sake.”
You nodded, a smile on your face. You’ll finally get to see Chenle again. Hopefully the group hangouts would go back to normal. 
As you were clouded with hope, Chenle’s emotions were different. He didn’t want to pretend to be fine. But he would do anything for you.  As the guys returned Chenle put a small on his face and started being like his old self. The guys all started to brighten up. You couldn’t help but smile. Everything was going back to normal…Finally. 
• ──────── •
You were worried to have another movie night. Every movie night seems to be the cause of something bad.
But you didnt want to let it affect you. Chenle has been working very hard on restoring the peace. It had been weeks since the fight between you, Jisung, and Chenle. However things started to improve, you couldn’t shake off the worry that it might all go wrong again. But Chenle had been putting in a lot of effort to smooth things over, and you hoped the peace would last.
When the night finally arrived, the atmosphere was lighter than it had been in weeks. Chenle was trying his best to act like his old self, and it seemed like he was succeeding— at least on the surface. The guys were chatting and laughing, and you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of hope.
Mark, Renjun, and Jaemin were debating which movie to watch, and you joined in with a smile, trying to enjoy the moment. Donghyuck was making jokes, and the room was filled with a sense of normalcy that you hadn’t felt in a long time.
Chenle, sitting next to you, seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself. He threw a playful glance your way and nudged you with his shoulder, trying to break through the lingering awkwardness. You appreciated the effort and responded with a smile, though a part of you was still on edge.
Jisung sat down on the floor, across from you. “Oh Y/n, I met a guy who I think you would get along with.” 
You glanced sideways and noticed Chenle stiffen next to you. His casual demeanor from earlier seemed to waver, and a flicker of discomfort crossed his face. You tried to keep your expression neutral, though you were tense.
“oh um…” You didn’t know how to react. How could Jisung even ask that? Let alone around everyone else. 
Jisung not understanding or not caring about your discomfort continued. “He’s really into music and literature, and he’s got this great sense of humor. I think you two would get along really well.”
Chenle shifted slightly, his hand moving to rest on his knee. You could feel the subtle change in his body language, his usual act replaced by a subtle unease.
Jaemin, noticing the tension, lightly shoved Jisung on the shoulder “Come on, stop that.”
Jisung shrugged, “I’ll send you his number.” 
This was the final straw for Chenle. His demeanor shifted suddenly, his earlier attempts at playing civil were gone.. He stood up, unable to mask his frustration any longer.
“You’re cruel,” Chenle interjected, his voice tighter than usual, “Don’t act like im not right here.”
The room fell into a stunned silence. The casual banter ceased, replaced by an awkward tension that hung heavily in the air. Chenle’s outburst had caught everyone off guard, and even Jisung looked taken aback.
You quickly turned to Chenle, trying to offer a reassuring smile, but it was clear that the situation was beyond the point of acting like everything was fine. You felt a pang of guilt for not dealing with the situation better. 
“I’m sorry, Chenle,” you said softly, reaching out for his hand. 
Chenle took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. “It’s not your fault, It was never your fault.”
“You know,” Chenle turned to Jisung, “I don’t care about your feelings! I love Y/N and im not going to let you hurt her anymore.” 
Jisung’s expression morphed from surprise to defensiveness, his features hardening as he stood up to face Chenle. The room was silent, tension crackling in the air as the two boys locked eyes in a silent battle.
“Hey, calm down,” Mark interjected, attempting to diffuse the escalating fight. But Chenle was not going to back down again, his gaze unwavering as he continued to address Jisung.
“You think you can just come in here and act like everything’s fine after what happened?” Chenle’s voice rose with each word, his frustration and hurt pouring out. “I’m not going to stand by and watch you hurt Y/n again.”
Jisung’s jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides. “Im not hurting Y/n, you are hurting her!” he shot back, his own anger bubbling to the surface.
Renjun stepped forward, speaking calmly but firmly. “Guys, let's all take a step back and calm down,” he suggested, his voice cutting through the charged atmosphere. “This isn't helping anyone.”
Chenle and Jisung both paused, their eyes locked in a silent battle. 
“We need to talk this out calmly,” Renjun continued, his gaze shifting between the two of them. “We're all friends here, and we can work through this together.”
“Shut up Renjun! I’m tired of everyone acting like nothing happened!” Chenle’s frustration boiled over. “Y/n deserves better than this.” 
Chenle stormed off again. Reminding you off what happened at the last movie night. 
Everyone’s eyes were on you now. “Did he say he loves me…” you whispered to yourself, still stuck on Chenle’s words.
You stood there, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air. The room was filled with a tense silence as everyone processed what had just unfolded. Jisung's expression softened, a flicker of realization crossing his features as he glanced at you.
But before anyone could even say anything you got up from your seat and ran out the door in search for Chenle. 
But the door to the elevator was already shutting before you could say anything.
You sprinted towards the stairs, heart pounding in your chest. The thought of Chenle, hurt and upset, fueled your speed. As you reached the stairwell, you hesitated for a moment before taking the steps two at a time.
When you finally got to the ground floor, you scanned the area frantically, trying to catch a glimpse of Chenle. His words kept echoing in your mind. You couldn't let him walk away like this, not again.
But he wasnt in the lobby.
You pushed open the glass doors of the building, stepping out into the cool night air. The street was quiet, with only a few scattered passersby making their way along the sidewalk. You glanced left and right, unsure of which way Chenle might have gone.
Your heart raced as you spotted a figure sitting on a bench in the park across the street. You knew it was Chenle. Without a second thought, you hurried across the road towards him.
"Chenle!" you called out, your voice echoing in the stillness of the night. He turned to look at you, surprise flickering in his eyes before he quickly averted his gaze.
You reached his side, breathless from your sprint down the stairs. "Chenle," you whispered between deep breaths reaching out to touch his arm.
Before you could go on a rampage of apologies, Chenle couldn’t help but laughed. 
"I can't believe you ran all the way down here just to chase after me," Chenle said, a small smile playing on his lips. His eyes met yours, the tension that had filled the air was gone.
You couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh, relieved to see a glimpse of the Chenle you knew and cared for. "You’re worth it." 
Chenle's smile widened as he shifted on the bench, making room for you to sit beside him. You settled down, the cool night air wrapping around you both as you sat in comfortable silence for a moment.
"I'm sorry for running off like that," Chenle began, his tone softer now. "I just... I couldn't stand seeing you upset, especially because of me."
“Can you stop blaming yourself!”
Chenle looked at you, his eyes softening. He reached out and gently took your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"I just want you to be happy, Y/n," Chenle said sincerely, his gaze searching yours. "I don't ever want to be the cause of your pain."
Taking a deep breath, you started, "Chenle, you have never been the cause of my pain," you said, turning so your body was facing him. "You've always been there for me, always caring and understanding. I appreciate you more than words can express."
Chenle's eyes widened slightly, before a soft smile spread on his face. “So what now?”
Chenle's smile was always contagious, and you found yourself mirroring it as you gazed into his eyes.
 
"Now," you began, your voice steady as you spoke, "you kiss me."
Chenle's lips curved into a smile. “You’re such a romantic.” Chenle joked, causing you to roll your eyes as he leaned in closer. His lips met yours in a gentle kiss. It was soft and sweet. All of your worries melted away. As long has you have eachother, everything is going to be okay.
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© 2024 fullsunstrawberry all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works on other social media’s. reblogs and comments are appreciated a lot!
nct dream taglist: @lostinneocity @naqkja
general taglist: @haechansbbg @haolovre @talkingsaxy @chenlesfeetpic
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 3 months ago
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is it wrong to read smut of underage characters when i'm an adult? i've been reading fanfiction since i was nine or ten and smut since i was in my early teens. when i turned eighteen, i decided that i shouldn't read smut of underage characters anymore because i knew it was wrong, but then i kept doing it and have continued to even though i'm now twenty. i feel a lot of guilt around doing it. i never read anything with prepubescent characters but i've found that i am definitely drawn to fanfiction about relationships between adult characters and characters aged 13–14—something that makes me feel especially sick with myself because i was that age when i was groomed by an adult in my life. i think i am attracted to the idea of being that age again and actually going all the way with someone my groomer's age and it makes me sick. when i look at actual underage teenagers i feel no sort of attraction—on the contrary, the thought of sexualizing a real person that age actually really upsets and disturbs me. so why do i continue to get off on sexualized fantasies reminiscent of my own abuse? at the end of the day, i can't help but worry that makes me similar to my abuser.
hi anon,
I want to start with your final point, because this is hugely important: there is a hundred thousand million miles of difference between someone sexually abusing a real living human child with feelings, and someone reading about sexual situations happening to made up fictional characters who have no real feelings or trauma because they don't exist. the first one is a terrible violation of power to exploit and harm a vulnerable person, and the latter has literally no harmful consequences except for you, the reader, feeling weird and yucky about it.
let me be so clear about this up front: if this is something that feels like it's upsetting enough that it's causing you distress, you should stop reading this stuff. simple as that. if it ain't good for you and you know that, you need to take a step back for your own sake.
now, having said that: I really firmly believe that people don't need to justify why they like reading about things. but what you're describing - being drawn to stories that mirror your own abuse - is incredibly common. when survivors of sexual violence seek out ways of recreating their own negative experiences, whether it's via porn and erotica or playing those things out in negotiated kink scenes, it's very often a case of recreating their traumatic experiences with a built-in escape hatch. it's impossible to go back in time and undo the things that were done to you, but it is possible to reclaim a sense of agency by exploring what happened on the survivor's own terms, knowing that they can stop, say no, and walk away whenever they want, unlike when the abuse actually happened. in other cases, it can be thrilling to see a situation that caused so much hurt in real life play out as consensual and joyful in fiction.
again, please drop this if it's something that's causing you stress and discomfort! but also know that what you're doing is not harming anyone except, potentially, yourself, and you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of. please take care and make the best decision for you.
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shuenkio · 3 months ago
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𝐈'𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐢𝐭? | Ksn.
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Paring: Sunoo x M!reader | Genre: Smut! Very.
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Synopsis: Not only is he upset that you spend less time with him, but the fact he saw a random guy said hi to you and you flash a smile so bright. That's when his inner beast came out.
Cw: jealousy, cumming, cursing (any other else was explicit so bad, read at your own risk)
Non proof read | Eng is not my 1st language
This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio
𝐀𝐍: writing a bias who look like an angel was... Something. Anyway writing smut is still limited because I'm still trying, some awkward part might happen and yeah, I might cringe in the future seeing this. Enjoy reading. ( Request From anon)
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A group project from your professor made you start to spend less time with your lovely boyfriend, Sunoo. Every weekend after your class, you'd often come home at 7 p.m., which is unusual.
Sunoo finds it weird that you're coming home late these past few weeks, till he thought you'd cheated on him. However, who knows, when you went to sleep, he always checked your phone and your account in every corner to make sure you weren't doing anything out of his sight, and it's true you did not have anybody else other than him and a group chat of friends.
After that, he started to realize that you probably keep a distance from him by spending more time with your friends, almost prioritizing them over him. Which made him upset for some reason but was soon replaced by madness mixed with jealousy. You've never smiled at anyone or anybody approaching you, but for today, when coming home after finishing groceries with him, during the time he's paying, he saw a guy coming at you and said, 'hello' Not only that, he thought you'd be creeped out by a stranger's face; instead, a bright smile appeared on your face.
That's irritated him so much; when he saw that, you were changed now. At home. While he was unloading the foods into the fridge, Sunoo saw you lying on the bed as you were making a phone call with one of your friends.
He decided that he'd have to finish all the action you have been taking, throwing him into the edge, which he can't back down now; if he couldn't bang tf out of you tonight, he'd be dead.
"M/n!" The door is opened by a strong pair of arms as he knocks softly on it twice, but you can't seem to pay any attention to him or notice him behind you with your back facing him. The ignorance not only boils him more, but the heat in his body continues to grow like a chemical burn.
You should at least turn your back or respond to him; there's no way you couldn't hear, yet nothing comes out of your mouth. It's all busy chitchatting with your close buddy about nonsense things and group projects. The temperature has reached its limit. The innocent boyfriend, who was like an angel, gentle and bubbly to you, turns 360° at the spot.
His jaw tightened as his gaze was painted black. Without any warning, he closed the door slowly, locked it as he took off his shirt, left him with his sleeveless top on, and made his way behind you.
"Yeah, lol, bye, see you tomorrow." gasps escape as you feel an arm placed underneath your shorts. When you turn around, you see Sunoo completely turned on, and he looks just like he just came out of hell.
"S-sunoo! What are you doing?" Nervously asking, you were about to turn around, but his strong strength left you unmoved.
"You were such a bad boy for these past few weeks, m/n; you left me alone and spent time with your friends instead of me. A lot, no too much. Have you forgotten you have your boyfriend here, desperate for your love?" He explains with a stern tone that all he said was true; nevertheless, you try to deny the fact that you have to complete the group project.
But all the things you've said now are useless; he knows everything, and if you keep denying, there's no reason why you could be able to walk tomorrow, maybe or maybe not.
"Go on, what do you have next? Not only that, the guy I saw earlier at the store looks like a creep, but you still flash your only smile for me to him? M/n, what's this all about?" Get a hold of his control, and while his finger lingers on the entrance of your ass, circle around and attempt to slide in, but he gives you time to explain that the lie would only push more in.
"I—he that guy—he was a friend of mine; we go to the same college." sweating soaks your forehead as you try your best to make your statement. Later, you find yourself crying out in pleasure as you feel a finger slide inside of you.
"Oh really? Hm... I think I've never seen him before. If he were your friend, why have you never told me about him? Most of your friends with whom you interact are all in your contact list, but not him? I know if you did, you'd think I'd be jealous, but unfortunately, I am jealous, by my own sight!!! For now, let's see who's belong to who shall we m/n?"
The innocent is gone, the lamp in your heart making you speechless with no more words coming out to argue with the matter of fact. Ripped off your short away, as he smirked in Maniac, he had never been like this; he used to be a sugar pie gummy bear, but now? A total psycho who's probably fucking the hell out of you tonight.
"Foreplay is dumb; why not get into it, hm? I look like a beautiful cloud, baby boy, but a clout can also be a dangerous cloud when it's raining." Before you can react, a cock spring frees out of his pant, the leaking pre-cum making your dick twitch. Never in your relationship have you seen each other's private parts, but look! It's paler than your thigh. The size might be normal, but what happens if he knows how to...?
"I'm going in, boy. I'll take care of you after these hours." The dark, low chuckle gives you goosebumps, and soon enough, Sunoo slides his cock in, raw! Losing control of himself once he was inside of you. His eyes painted in wide white, listening to your whimpering sound, even turned him on to the edge.
All he wanted right now was to claim you as his. Thrusting in, wasting no more time, with both of your hands locked by him on your back in one hand, he never worked out nor did he have an abs, but he's strong, strong, tbh. The wet liquid of his pre-cum gives him smooth access to push in even deeper. The first time with you was worth it, and he knows you're low-key loving it.
"Shit, why does it feel so good?" Everyone would be moaning, whimpering, or cursing out of pleasure, yet for Sunoo, he's crying out of pleasure. Tears streaming down on his pretty face, with your countless can't-take-it huffs only to make him fasten his pace, Sunoo's balls continue to slap against your balls, mixed with the wet sound you'd often hear in a beat of music. It's so hot and aroused that your body is twirling under his touch, adjusted, and squeezing in his cock, begging for more.
"Sun—Nghuu... I feel strange, faster!!" Wiping his satisfied tears away, he then responded back with both of his hands locking, wrapped around your hip before going all in, one thrust in a first attempt, making his cock disappear suddenly.
Your jaw almost cracks when his tip reaches the most sensitive spot ever in your body, the prostate. Saliva is leaking out of your lips like hunger, as is a massive load of cum shooting out on the bed sheet. When he saw that you were cumming, a weird feeling approached him, like a string intertwined in one, a wave of jolt hitting the shaft of his before he exploded inside of your ass.
It was messy, but it just hit the spot of pleasure. The odor of stain cum began to fill the room, and both of you then collapsed on the bed while still connected with each other.
"It feels good, right, m/n?" Nod to the question as a warm smile appeared on his face. Patting your head out of cuteness.
"Good boy, we're only here once; nobody else interrupts us. You got it? Now let's restore your energy; your trembling is too much." And that is how you know: you will never leave him alone again, ever. All innocent guys are wild, and you can't change that.
"Goodnight 내사랑" 
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Ps: Some requests I might write and some I might decline just because. sometimes I feel horrible when I won't be able to do it, 🥹 surwy to some anon had asked me ><
🗣️Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥
🗣️ Please mind my English! ><
🗣️All crd pics & dividers to the owner.
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dollgxtz · 3 days ago
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Hi everyone just hopping on here quickly to remind yall that if you feel like dropping His Watchful Eye for any reason please do so!! It’s a very intense story, and I know despite my warnings people will read anyways but I really do want to emphasize putting yourself and your mental health first!!!
No, it won’t upset me! Everyone has their limits, everyone has their own opinions on how the story should go! And that’s okay. If you’re simply upset with how the story is going and want to drop it I would never hold that against anyone. 🤍
The only reason I even bring this up is because of some of the DMs and asks I’ve been getting. I have gotten ppl telling me to hurt myself over this. They’re very upsetting. I’m sorry if you feel like this story is not going the way you’d like but I have been very forward on my opinions on Yandere!Sylus. I don’t hate him but I don’t expect anyone else to like him, it’s okay, that’s the beauty of fiction. Everyone interprets it their own way!
I don’t want to have to keep justifying why I wrote Sylus the way I did. No, a lot of his actions are not canon and it’s my own choice to make him that way. It’s fanfiction and dark romance. Please respect my choices as the author or stop reading 😞
Please don’t come in my DMs/asks and insult me just because you feel a certain way. In fact, I encourage you guys to write your own versions of the characters if you’d like! I’d love to read them! I’m very sensitive and don’t want to have to drop the story altogether, but I will if it’s hurting my own mental health.
This isn’t to say you can’t come to me with criticism! I love constructive criticism and feedback but insulting me is not constructive at all.
Ty for your continued support and love, stay safe!
-Umi ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა
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whxre-bxby · 1 year ago
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I think it’s okay to take plots aslong as you don’t have everything word from word, I know the very popular one is the jake sullys daughters x miles quaritch
Okay, this is based on a previous request someone made for this scenario, so here you are :)
"Forbidden But Desired"
Recom Quaritch x f. Human Y/N
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(Based off a fanfiction on AO3 called "Forbidden Fruit Tastes The Sweetest")
Masterlist
Summary: (Y/N is in Spider's position) Quarithc captures you and finds out you are the daughter of the man whose memories and DNA he has. Being the only person he feels any emotions too, Miles can't help but have you to himself.
Warnings: Smut, Angst, Non-con, somnophilia, indirect incest in a way?, penetration, unprotected sex, size-difference, age-gap, use of 'daddy',
Word Count: 4383
A/N: Sorry I'm so slow with uploading. I'll finish off the current requests, then I'll see if I even re-open them. Thank you for all the kind support though, it makes me really happy that so many people enjoy reading my work. Apology up ahead if this smut seems 'half-assed', I used to be more passionate about this
The room was cold. It was something you’d never seen or been in before. Even the lab back at home was not as cold and quiet as this. You could hear your own thudding heartbeat and every breath you took. The silence scared you. 
Yesterday, the worst thing to probably ever happen to you happened. You were taken from your family. The Sully’s. When the humans left Pandora, you were left behind because you were just a toddler. Born here, you stayed here. Now, of course, it had been many many years since your biological parents had died. You found out at the age of 15 that the man responsible for this was, Miles Quaritch, was your father. But you felt nothing towards him and while hearing that definitely disturbed you, you weren’t upset by his death. In fact, you felt relieved he was gone. And you were ready to spend the rest of your life proving that you are nothing like him. Now, a few years later, the information has settled in and you’ve managed to work past it psychologically. Just because you’re related by blood does not mean you have his intentions. In fact, being related to him makes you more passionate about protecting Pandora from others like him. But as one of the few humans left on this planet, that would be difficult. You’re a ‘big girl’ now, as Jake says when he talks about your responsibilities. He trusts you fully and raised you along with his kids. They are family to you. 
But a few months back, the Sky People were sighted again and we knew they were back. Hiding was currently our only option. Perhaps they had different intentions this time?
That thought died down the second a group of Avatars found you, Lo’ak, Tuk and Kiri in the forest. They must have come from the humans because of their clothes. They spoke English too. Their Na’vi was broken and hard to understand. 
While trying to escape, you fell. You can’t remember what happened but you have vague memories of being carried by the Avatar who seemed to be leading the group. Then you woke up here, all alone. Your toes felt cold and your spine sent a shiver through you as you retreated into a corner of the room. 
The Avatar from before had come into your room a few times already. He introduced himself and you refused to talk to him. You barely even looked at him. But when he told you his Avatar had the memories of the person you hated the most: Miles Quaritch; you couldn’t help but stare up at him in disbelief. Examining his features, you were quick to realise that he really did look like your so-called father. His presence intimidated you and you didn’t know how to feel about him. He didn’t seem like a threat to you. Your instincts weren’t ringing the alarm bells. You knew he wasn’t a good person, but there seemed to be some kind of string attaching the two of you. One that you both refused to acknowledge or act on. 
Quaritch would tell himself he’s being all nice to you because he’s trying to get information out of you through manipulation. You would tell yourself that you hate him and that he’s just as bad as the human version, but somehow, deep down you asked yourself whether he could be different. 
Miles was gentle with you, restraining himself from raising his voice when he questioned you and you would stay quiet. He started to bring you your food, hoping it would help you gain trust towards him. But he hated himself for trying to train you like some dog. Compared to him, you were a tiny creature. ‘A delicate little girl’ he thought, often finding himself admiring your features. Most of them were your mothers which seemed to only draw him more to you. 
He also seemed surprised that you had grown so much. It obviously made sense because he knew that many years had passed since the war, but you were hardly the little girl he had so few memories of. You were almost a fully grown woman and he wished he could be proud of himself for it, but he knows he had no part in your life until perhaps now. 
Today, things took a big turn. You lost track of time, not knowing whether you were sleeping through the days and crying during the nights or the other way around. It had been too long since you had seen the natural daylight or felt the fresh breeze of the wind. Being inside this awful room was so still and dead, it oftentimes made you feel ill. 
You sat curled up in the same corner once more. Miles had visited you during the morning, giving you your food and water. While you slowly ate the dry food, he tried to talk to you about things that weren’t related to his mission. He was asking about you. But not because he needed it for work, but because he cared. Miles realised he cared about you on Day 3 when Ardmore had suggested to just ‘get rid’ of you because you weren’t cooperating. Not even her tortuous methods worked on you. The thought of that happening made him panic inside and he managed to persuade her to give him more time. Though he wasn’t sure exactly how much time he was getting for you, he knew he would rather disobey her orders and ‘set you free’ in the forest instead of leaving you in her hands. 
He didn’t feel like your dad and he knew very well you didn’t accept being his daughter, but there was a deep emotional connection between the two of you that neither of you have with anyone else. Miles has been left to himself since he was brought back as an Avatar. Everything had constantly been strictly professional and work-related. 
You are the only personal thing he has in his life. The one person he feels he can let his guard down in front of. The only real person he actually seems to enjoy being around. Also, the only person he misses when he’s alone and not in your room. 
This is why he was spending his evening behind the mirrored glass, watching you softly cry in your little corner. You couldn’t see him because the glass only showed your reflection but he was there and he felt guilty for leaving you in such a state. You had been showered, cleaned and fed. But you weren’t happy and he could clearly see that. Miles knows he shouldn’t care as much as he does, but he can’t help himself. Something inside him longs for you and makes him want to protect you, even if it’s against his own people. He often feels like he needs to protect you from himself. After all, he’s the reason you ended up here. He knows he’s causing you your suffering, so he tries to think of ways to reduce it.
The large automatic door opens and he steps inside. You hold your breath, glancing up at him and holding back your tears. It annoys you when others see you at your most vulnerable. You don’t like feeling small, but oddly enough you don’t seem to care about that around Miles. His presence affects you differently. Almost as if you feel safe enough to cry and relax in his presence. Something your logical mind would clearly say no to. 
He gazes down at your small figure. His sad eyes take pity on you. 
“Come with me.” he says. The words were meant to be spoken as an order, but instead, his voice grew soft and became oddly comforting. 
You stand up, not thinking twice about his words. Anything to leave this room. He seems pleased with your sudden cooperation so he leads the way, making sure you’re close by. There’s no need to handcuff you or restrict you in any other way. He can catch you in seconds if you attempt to run away. You yourself know you don’t stand a chance. 
Quaritch leads you to a secluded hallway and uses a cyber key to unlock a door. The frame fits his size so you assume it’s made for Avatars. His large blue hand pushes the door open before his eyes glance back at you, silently telling you to go inside. 
You listen, slowly walking inside and looking around once he switches the light on. It’s his room.
“I’m not gonna let them treat you like some kind of animal.” he says, clearly seeming angered at the thought of that. 
“You did..” You reply, turning around. Your English isn’t at its best because you normally speak Na’vi. But you manage. 
He seems affected by your words and his eyes lower in disappointment. 
“Not anymore.” he says, promising that to you and to himself. 
“They don’t get te’ have you anymore.” 
His words confuse you. 
“But you do?” I ask, wondering what changed in his head to make him suddenly almost hide me with him. 
He doesn’t answer that. Miles doesn’t know how to. But he knows that if anyone gets you it's him. He has a reason for you to belong to him. You are emotionally connected and he’s the one that captured you. It only makes sense. But to tell you his thoughts won’t happen. You’re too pure to be told that you’re being kept by him. Words won’t tell you, but you’ll find out soon enough anyway. Perhaps through actions. 
His room was split in two. The bedroom and what you assumed to be a bathroom. He pointed you towards the bed. You haven’t seen anything like it before but by looking at it, you could tell it’s soft, so you obeyed him and lay down. 
He watched you settle down for a few moments, noting how innocent you were. Nothing about climbing into his bed seemed wrong or even slightly uncomfortable to you. He knows it’s because you live differently than he does, but it amuses him. You lay down so willingly, almost tricking him into wanting to lay down with you. 
Quaritch managed to push his thoughts away, leaving you alone in the room as the bathroom door shut behind him. You didn’t mind anything at this point. You were just happy to not be cold and uncomfortable anymore. 
Time seemed to fly by because of how comfortable you felt, wrapped in this large blanket.
You heard the same door from before creek open and Quaritch stepped back into the room. He changed clothes or rather removed some. But seeing him without a shirt on didn’t really faze you. After all, that’s how you’ve always seen all Na’vi. But Miles had much more muscle mass. You could probably stare at his torso all day if you had the chance. The feeling confuses you because you don’t do that, ever.
He walks up to the side of the bed, peering down at you once more. The sight comforts his cold heart. You look happy which means he’s managed to help you in a way. 
You’re on the brink of falling asleep when you feel the mattress dip next to you as Quaritch lays himself down. The blanket is all around you which makes him chuckle. 
“You can’t have it all, you gotta share, princess.” he grins, looking over to you. You open your eyes and look at him, not understanding what he means. So to help you out, he pulls the blanket from you which makes you frown. An expression that amuses him further. 
“No.” you whine, trying to grab it back. 
“Don’t worry, it’s big enough for both of us, kid.” he chuckles lowly. The blanket is now on him but you’re too far away for it to reach you. 
“I want it back.” you plead, watching his eyes study you while he grins. Instead of responding with words, he lifts up a corner of the blanket and smirks at you, as if he were saying that you must lay there to get it. 
You stay still for a few moments. Your mind is loading. But Quaritch isn’t feeling that patient today. It’s his room, his rules, so he reaches for you and pulls your right against him so that your back is pressed against his chest. 
“What are you-” 
“Sleepin’ in my bed comes with terms and conditions, sweet’eart.” he replies in his gruff, sleepy voice. 
His large, heavy hands wrap around you, making it impossible for you to leave. But oddly, you don’t want to. His body warmth comforts you and you start to relax your tensed body.
Your eyes grow heavy and before you know it, you’re asleep. 
Miles feels your soft breath fan against his arm and he feels like he’s cradling a kitten. You’re so small and beautiful to him, he knows he must be careful having you around him. 
Being so close to you makes him realise how good you smell and how soft your skin and hair are. You just look so inviting, he’s having a hard time falling asleep. Instead, his heartbeat is starting to pick up speed, involuntarily riling him up. In the back of his head, he doesn’t feel wrong for handling you like this. Taking advantage of your innocence doesn’t seem that wrong to him right now. He would never hurt you, but he’s done worse than this, so it doesn’t seem to faze him. Especially when the slowly building arousal is starting to badly influence his common sense. 
You’re so close to him and you’re his. He has a right to be with you. You belong to him. Why shouldn’t he be able to explore and use what’s his?
His thoughts go wild as he starts to hesitantly imagine all the things he could do to you. You’re just laying there, so relaxed and available for him, he can’t just say no. He slowly unwraps his hands from around you, keeping his eyes trained on your body to make sure you’re still asleep. 
When you don’t move, he tells the guilty part of him that you want this. Even though he knows he’s fully taking advantage of your size and innocence, he’s too worked up to let this go. His shorts feel tight around him and his growing erection, but he doesn’t focus on that just yet. He wants to see you for you before he focuses on himself. 
They didn’t change you out of your Na’vi clothes, so most of your skin is exposed to Miles anyway. His hands move your hair to the side, exposing your back and the small strings keeping your chest piece attached. 
His heart is now racing. He can’t believe what he’s doing but he won’t stop. Not with you looking so pretty in his bed.
Quaritch props himself up on one elbow, while his free hand gently traces your body, running from your shoulder, along your side and to your hips.
He leans forward, massaging the soft flesh of your hip before pressing his lips against your warm skin. His eyes close and he inhales deeply, not being able to get enough of the way you smell. Then, Miles pulls away, kissing you up to your shoulder blade. You’re so soft he feels the urge to just grab you and sink his teeth into your flesh but luckily for you, he doesn’t. Knowing you will probably shy away if you’re awake, Miles decides to explore you further by himself so that he can take his time toying with you instead of having to hold you down and keep you quiet. 
Carefully, he slides the blanket off the both of you and sits up to properly look at you. He starts to fumble with the strings of your top, untying them and watching them loosely drape around your back. Miles’ large hand then finds your shoulder and he gently pulls you to him and turns you onto your back. He can’t wait much longer so he takes one string in between his fingertips and lifts your chest piece up, gently pulling it from your calmy sleeping body. 
He draws a deep breath to stay composed while his darkened eyes drink in your bare chest. Such a pretty young thing you are, fully on display to him and only him. 
He wants to devour you and drag his tongue and lips over every inch of your body, but he can’t risk waking you up just yet. He needs to see more before he can start touching you. 
Miles slowly moves onto his knees, sitting by your legs. You’re wearing a loincloth like all other Na’vi. Something he hated before, not liking how they imprinted their culture on you. But now, he was almost thankful you weren’t covered in human clothes from head to toe. 
He takes the material covering your crotch at the front and lifts it up to reveal that you aren’t actually bare underneath. You’re wearing something similar to panties except out of their woven fabric. Miles ignores the small beads and pattern of your loincloth and just hooks his fingertips under the sides of your waistband and slowly pulls it down your legs, teasing himself. 
Once he lays eyes on your bare cunt Miles groans, struggling to stick to his plan of just looking. He knows now that he won’t be able to just admire you. He needs you for himself. 
God, you’re just so beautiful he can’t help himself. His large hands gently wrap around your legs, parting them to fully expose your pussy to his predatory eyes. What a pretty little thing you’ve grown to be. 
You look so tasteful, Miles has to touch you. His fingers trace an outline around your pussy, watching a small shiver overcome your body in your sleep.
‘So sensitive’ he thinks, wondering whether you’ve ever done anything sexual with someone before. But judging by the way your body seems to eagerly be responding to his smallest touches, he concludes that you really are as innocent as he thought. It also means he needs to approach this with a gentle hand, not to scare or hurt you. 
His fingertip slips between your folds, gently massaging you while watching your reactions. You’re still asleep but your breathing seems to occasionally change patterns. Your warmth has Miles feeling excited to feel it around him, whether that will even end up working. He had to stretch you out for him first, knowing he could hurt you if he didn’t.
His fingertip continues to gently flick over your clit, rubbing you along your slit until he feels the flesh give in and he reaches your hole. Slowly, Miles starts to push his finger into you and a deep growl rumbles through his chest when he feels the slick start to form inside you. But you’re still so tight, which he loves but he knows he must relax your muscles to make this pleasurable for you. You're his little girl after all, he can’t have you crying in pain underneath him. 
It’s his job to care of you.
He starts to work you open for him, gently pushing two fingers into you now. Miles lowers his head closer to you, noticing that your slick has started to seep out of your tiny hole. His fingers have spread it all over your pussy until it is now glistening and shiny, making his mouth water. He must taste you, to confirm you’re really his. His mouth has to explore and experience his girl. 
He uses his tongue to pleasure you and take away the slightly uncomfortable feeling his fingers may be creating inside you. Miles’ eyes stay trained on your face as he peers up at you. You’re still asleep which amazes him. 
Once your pussy has managed to engulf his third fingers, Miles can’t wait anymore. That’ll do. He keeps your legs resting open for him while he pulls his loose pants down to his mid-thigh, finally freeing his aching erection. He knows he won’t fit all of him into you. You’re too delicate and small, but anything will do for him at this point. 
He wants to guide you through this experience because he knows you have no idea about these kinds of things. 
Seeing himself as your closest person, he feels he has the right to be your first. To take away the virginity you were born with, and lead you through this step of becoming a woman. To ‘break you in’. 
He reaches down, wrapping his hand around his shaft before pressing his tip against your heat. Miles hears you sigh in your sleep and your head turns to the other side, but your eyes stay closed.
He starts to rub himself against you, covering himself in your sweet wetness while letting his precum drizzle down onto your pussy. A shiver of excitement runs up his spine when he imagines how he’ll fill you up with his cum and permanently mark you as his. So that when he is finished with you, you’ll still be stained with his scent, making everyone who ever crosses you know that he claimed you. 
With that thought, he starts to slowly apply pressure to your hole, gently pressing his tip against it until he feels it give way and start to let him in. Once his tip is almost in, he lets go of himself and positions himself above you. Your eyebrows are furrowed and your breathing has quickened, but you don’t seem to be awake just yet, so he continues to push himself into you. 
He sharply inhales when he feels how tightly you’re squeezing him, but he can’t stop. Fuck it feels too good. His hips involuntarily buck forwards and he forces himself inside you until his tip hits your cervix. His eyes are closed in bliss, cherishing the feeling of being so close to you. 
A small whimper makes Miles open his eyes and he meets your confused eyes, slowly waking up. You rub your eye, glancing around the room before looking up at him. He can see that you have no idea what is happening yet, so he slowly withdraws his throbbing length from inside you before pushing back inside. You clench your jaw, sucking in a pained breath and gasping.
“What’s happening?” You ask, trying to sit up but Quaritch restricts you from doing so by hovering over you. He dips his head down to your neck, placing soft kisses along your warm skin. 
“Don’t worry, baby. You’re in good hands.” He whispers, starting to rhythmically move his hips against yours. Your mouth is parted in surprise. You feel him deep inside you and it‘s so unexpected, you don‘t know how to react. 
“Miles-“ you whisper in a shaky voice, not sure whether you should ask him what he’s doing, whether to stop or why you weirdly don’t hate it. 
“Shh, let me take care of you.” He whispers, nipping at your neck with his fangs while he continues to gently thrust in and out of you. 
“Daddy’s little girl” he hums into your ear. “Be good and stay still for me.”
Your small hands go up to grip his shoulders and you give him an experimental push but Miles won’t budge even a bit. So instead, you hold on to him, but you’re not sure why. 
One of his hands snakes down between your bodies and he starts to toy with your clit again, watching your confusion and pleasure mix. The stretch of him hurt you but somehow, that made it feel nice. 
“How’s that feel, sweet’eart?” He asks, continuing to massage you with his rough hands. 
Your innocent eyes find him while you try to think of an answer. 
“Good…” you whisper, wondering whether he might stop now but Miles doesn’t. 
“Mhm,” he hums, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “Do you know what I’m doin’?” He asks and his voice sounds gruff. 
You shake your head ‘no’. 
“Makin’ you mine.” 
His words make you feel more excited and Miles notices this when your pussy clenches around him. A smirk appears on his face as he continues to drive himself into you. He realises your tight muscles are finally easing around him so he quickens his pace, seeming happy that your body has accepted him inside you. 
“M’ gonna fill you up, baby.” He grunts, starting to slowly lose control of his steady pace. Your stomach feels fuzzy and it makes you spread your legs further, hoping it will make the good feeling stay. It does. Miles instantly receives your invitation and starts to rut himself into you
You hum in pleasure, not feeling too bad about this. Jake was a father to you. You barely knew this man, so it didn’t seem that wrong to you. Miles however knew some part of this was wrong, but he wasn’t related to you biologically, only through memories. 
His fingers rub rough circles over your clit and you gasp before the bubble inside you bursts. Your body trembles and your muscles spasming around Miles help him over the edge and into bliss. His biceps and core muscles flex as he shoots his cum inside you, thrusting a few more times to make sure he’s stuffed you full with it as much as possible. 
Once he starts to calm down, Miles takes a little pity on your small figure. He knows he took advantage of you, but he won’t dwell on it too much now. Instead, he lays himself down next to you, rotating your body with him so that you're both lying against each other and on your sides like before. He keeps himself halfway inside you to prevent his cum from dripping out of you. You need to stay full until morning. Then at least, he can replace the last load with a fresh one. Fill you up until your womb is full of him and until you can’t walk anymore. Maybe he’ll do this to you every night, just to make sure it’s clear to you and to Jake if he meets you again, that you belong to Quaritch and no one else.
Tag List: @ken-dala @ikranwings @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @numarusworld @number1gal @jatwow
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olderthannetfic · 15 days ago
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Writing about my favorite characters as transgender has opened my eyes to how many people in fandom are able to get away with actual transphobia without other people judging them for it, and after one particularly bad experience I feel like I can't participate in fandom without constantly having to check people's profiles and social media to see whether or not they might secretly hate trans people. The fandom I currently write for is relatively small compared to others, but somehow I still manage to catch a lot of casual transphobia, especially on my higher-kudos'd works. This didn't really bother me at first since most of the comments were misinformed but rather harmless otherwise, with most asking me to write a fic where the MC medically transitions to become their "real gender" as a sequel. Those comments were written politely, but the sentiment that a person's body designates their gender bothered me a lot. I specifically present the trans characters in my fics as pre-op or non-op without dysphoria in order to feel more comfortable about my own body, and I'm really tired of reiterating the reasons why I personally won’t create a fic where the MC undergoes a full medical transition. I would be thrilled if someone else wrote that, but it’s not a concept I have any interest in executing myself.
Usually the casual transmedicalism in my comments is my only real gripe about the attitudes towards transness in my fandom, but recently I joined a major fandom discord server and found out that they had a dedicated thread for bashing my work. (Well, to be more accurate they had a bunch of threads for bashing people's works, but mine had the most messages at the time.) I should have just left at that point, but I was curious to see if there was any valid criticism because honestly I don’t get a lot of constructive feedback on my newer stuff and I wanted to see if there was anywhere I could improve. Unfortunately, it was almost entirely just really hurtful comments, with many people making assumptions about my body and offline identity, calling me a fake trans person and a chaser for the things I've written. They kept going on about how I'm fetishizing transness, how I probably just wanted an excuse to write het smut with an M/M tag on it, how I'm probably not actually a trans man but an obsessed and misguided teenage girl instead. I've been on T for over two years now, but even if I wasn’t, their belief that all bodies like mine are basically "female" was really upsetting. Maybe I just happened to stumble upon a bad crowd, but at that moment I just really felt alone. I never expected to receive that kind of vitriol in such a small fandom - I have maybe like five or so people who follow my work closely, so it's not like I'm hitting super big numbers compared to others. I understand that my work might be dysphoria-inducing for other people, but I include warnings for language at the beginning of all my fics and I'm extremely thorough about tagging all the sex acts that take place. It's easy to filter out my work via additional tags if you don’t want to see it. But no matter how many measures I take to make others feel more comfortable, they still feel like I'm taking up too much space and mucking up the tags with my fanfiction.
Part of me feels like quitting after this experience, but I'm also a spiteful bastard and I think it would haunt me forever if I stopped now lol. I'm curious to know if you or any of your followers has ever dealt with a similar situation (as in, finding out there's a bunch of people who hate your work for shitty reasons), and if you have advice on how to continue interacting with others in fandom without constantly wondering if they hate me behind closed doors. I left the server already but I'm sure there's other things I can do that I'm forgetting. Thanks for reading!!
--
There will always be people who dislike you for silly reasons, and if your fic is popular, there will be a lot of them. The only way to deal with it is to just accept that this is normal and not think about them.
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ghouljams · 15 days ago
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I'm so glad you said something about nipples because I've never really had sensations and when I read it in smut I've just assumed I've been touching myself wrong and gotten upset because I have big nips and figured they'd have to have something going for them. You continue to be a great sex ed blog on top of everything else lol.
Nothing wrong with you! Everyone has different sensitivity levels in different parts of their body. My stomach and neck are really sensitive for example, so I get a lot of pleasure from having my partner touch those parts rather than grabbing my tits. I enjoy having my partner grab and grope but it's more for aesthetic reasons.
This is why(if you are a long time reader or if you've gone through a lot of my smut posts) there's very little tit play! I don't get off to it so I don't write it. In my head it's appealing and looks good but in real life... eh it's not doing much for me.
I will say it feels different with a partner than just with fingers but I still wouldn't call it mind blowing or panty dropping. Always remember that porn is for show and just because it's lit-erotica doesn't make it any more true to life. Even fanfiction is heavily romanticized and eroticized, if something doesn't feel good to you but it does for the y/n in a fic then don't listen to that chick! What do they know? Nothing.
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melodygatesauthor · 1 year ago
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The Fractured Moon - Part 3
Yandere! Moon Boys X f!Reader
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PLEASE READ TAGS/DISCLAIMERS/WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS FIC. THERE ARE DARK THEMES!
Not Beta Read - Series Masterlist
Summary:
After Steven's ruthless beating, you need time to recover, and the boys are going to show you how nice they can treat you, if only you'll let them, and as long as you behave.
Tags/Warnings (for entire series):
Disclaimer: I created this fic for the sole purpose of exploring the yandere thing as a fanfiction "kink" in a safe way and in a safe space. I in no way would want this to happen to myself or someone else. This fic is not a reflection of my moral beliefs. - Further, this fic is not an accurate representation of people with DID (dissociative identity disorder). These men happen to have DID and I'm putting them in a situation where they would have an unhealthy obsession with the reader character. NSFW, Stalking, non-con, somnophilia, rape, mentions of murder, drugged sex, kidnapping, manipulation, dacryphilia, voyeurism, threats of physical harm, copious amounts of sex, copious amounts of unprotected sex, blood, unrealistic refractory period, biting, slapping, hitting, reader is smol, choking. This is a Dead Dove Do Not Eat situation.
Word Count: 4079
----
Steven came into your room in the afternoon, the day after the beating you’d endured by his hand. He looked at you with a guilty expression, seeing immediately that your skin was discolored in places where he’d hit you. It didn’t go unnoticed either, the way your face looked panicked when he stepped into the room. He’d never seen you so afraid that you were driven to get up and scurry to the corner, sliding down the wall on your back and tucking your knees into yourself, as though you were hiding from him. Jake didn’t even make you this afraid.
“What did you expect hermano? What you did wasn’t discipline, it was torture,” Jake said coldly.
If Jake was the one telling Steven that he was out of line, then it must’ve been true. He didn’t mean to hurt you that badly, he was just so angry when he saw you with that filthy plastic toy. The idea that you chose something like that over him when he was right there, warm and ready to give you what you needed, still made his cheeks flush with rage. He took a deep breath to calm himself.
“Darling, I–” You tucked your head down further at the sound of his voice.
Steven’s entire body felt cold. He’d really gone too far, hadn’t he? Jake was right. It was one thing to teach you a lesson. A few welts on your rear, and maybe some bites to remind you who you belonged to, but what Steven had done…it was reckless, and monstrous. He’d never felt so terrible in all his life.
“I’m so sorry.”
He walked over and knelt down in front of you. You gasped when he reached out and touched your forearm gently. You pulled your arm back, afraid he was going to hurt you. He felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter when you looked up at him. Still so stunning, even with, sometimes especially with, fear etched in your pretty face. He gave you the softest expression he could, brows knitted together and turned up in concern.
“I shouldn’t have hit you that hard,” he admitted. He could’ve left it there, but he didn’t want the lesson to be lost in his kindness. “I hope you understand why I had to teach you a lesson, despite my being a little too harsh.”
You shook your head, “you’re a nasty man.”
Your words stung, and Steven had to try and keep his cool. You were upset, and you had a right to be, he knew that, but hearing you call him nasty…that was a lot to overcome. Steven wasn’t nasty. Rapists were nasty. Murderers who killed innocent people were nasty. Steven wasn’t any of that. He was kind, loving, protective, and anything you could want in a man. That was why he knew you loved him. He would never hurt you…not really.  He reached out his hand again, and that time he brushed your cheek with his thumb, despite your flinching.
He shook his head, “I don’t want to hear you saying horrible things like that love. I’m not a nasty man. S’not nice for you to say that. I’ve done nothing but care f’you, and love you, right? How can you call me nasty? How can you say something like that?”
You furrowed your brow, “you kidnapped me, raped me, all of you–”
He covered your mouth quickly, “no, no, no, shhh,” his eyes were wide. “That is not true.”
You saw his eyes start to well and his bottom lip started quivering. Was he so delusional that he didn’t see the truth? That he and his brothers had brought you there against your will and tortured you? Did he really think you were happy? No one could be that blind to the truth…could they?
“Can’t have you sayin’ things like that love, lyin’ and whatnot. S’not nice to do yeah?” He looked at you with what looked like desperation, “I brought you home to us, I give you love, I make you feel good. That’s all. You can call it whatever you like, but lyin’ is a bad habit to get into darling. I don’t wanna have to teach you another lesson.”
It was clear that no matter what you said, he was going to spin this around to fit his twisted fantasy, so you decided to remain silent. Speaking out against him would only lead you to more pain. He took his hand off your mouth slowly, as though you might explode if he released you too quickly. His expression softened into a look of adoration. It made you uneasy.
“I’m gonna do somethin’ special for you tonight, alright, so do me a favor, yeah? Get yourself all cleaned up nice, put on somethin’ pretty f’me, and I’ll give you a nice reward for being so good an for taking your lesson so well last night.” He stood up and started walking toward the door.
“I don’t have any clothes,” you reminded him.
He turned around, “oh god, you’re right. Silly me. I’ll have Jake pick somethin’ out for you, he’s got good taste.” When Steven smiled, you noticed how handsome he really was. You hated yourself for thinking it, but it was true. “I think you’ll like what I’ve got in mind f’you tonight. Gonna give you a chance to get out of your room for a bit.”
That was, unfortunately, the thing that made you behave better than the beatings. The promise of even the smallest dose of freedom. To be able to get out of the room you’d spent the last week in. Or was it longer than that? You couldn’t recall. You shouldn’t be that excited for something so simple, but you couldn’t help feeling a little giddy at the thought of getting out of the room, even if it was under their supervision.
You washed yourself well, and the hot water soothed your aching body. When Jake came in later, he brought you something to wear. It was a sheer babydoll lingerie top. You held it in your hands while the man looked you over. He grabbed your chin in his gloved fingers, tilting your head side to side. He tsked as his eyes trekked over your body.
“He really got you good, hm princesa?” Jake brushed a finger over one of your bruises forcing a wince and hiss from your lips. You stepped back. “Steven doesn’t understand the craft of fixing bad behavior. He gets a little…carried away.” He smirked, looking you up and down. “Put the top on, let me see it on you.”
You took the baby blue top and slid it over your head. You felt pretty in it, and you hated that you liked the gift they gave you. There were no bottoms it seemed. Despite their kindness, they still wanted to leave you open for their needs at any time. You didn’t see the point in arguing, panties or no panties, they were going to take you any time they wanted anyway.
“Muy hermosa.” He stepped forward and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. “Steven’s the lucky one tonight.”
Later, Marc brought you some food to eat, and he nearly dropped the platter when he walked into your room. You looked like an angel, donning your beautiful, sheer top. He knew that he was going to have his time with you another day, but he wanted to take you right then. His breath hitched in his throat while he watched you eat, taking your small bites as usual, as though you still didn’t trust the food they handed you.
“You’re so sweet baby, love seeing you in this little outfit. Jake’s got good taste,” Marc commented.
“Always have amigo,” Jake said amusedly from the headspace.
“Will you make her hurry up Marc, m’gettin’ impatient. She’s just so beautiful and I…I want her now.”
“Take your time honey, don’t want you getting a tummy ache,” Marc said, brushing his thumb over your cheek.
Steven was hurt after that, feeling wronged by Marc in the worst way. It was already hard enough to share you between the three of them, and now the man was just taunting him. None of the boys were ready for you to know their secret yet, and that was the only thing keeping Steven from fronting and dragging you out of the room to spend time with him in that moment.
He was relieved when you were finally finished eating, and Marc took away your food, kissing you gently on the cheek before leaving the room so Steven could get ready. He wasn’t getting all dressed up, all he wanted to do was curl up on the couch with you and listen to you read. He had no other demands, no requests for you other than to hear your beautiful little voice while you read from the pages of the book they saw you reading in the library. Steven felt like that was ages ago.
----
The Beauty and the Beast.
The book seemed ironically fitting now. You held it in your trembling hands, unable to peel your gaze off the book. You wondered if you’d ever stop shaking, but you supposed that so long as they kept hurting you, you’d be afraid of any interaction with them; even if the interaction seemed as innocent as curling up on the couch and reading.
“Come now love, lay here with me,” Steven felt his heart skip several beats when you looked up at him from the pages you were shuffling through.
You looked radiant, lit by the flames of the crackling fireplace. They licked over your skin, illuminating you in a way that made you look even softer than Steven thought possible. Sometimes he forgot how lucky he was, until his eyes fell over your body once more. You were his, and you weren’t going anywhere. He held out a hand to you, a love-drunk smile spread across his face.
You flinched back when he presented you with his hand, gasping sharply and dropping the book on the ground. Steven’s demeanor shifted from pleasantly affectionate to scorn. He stood up from the couch, forcing you to jump back, fearful that he might hurt you more. You dropped to the ground, grabbing the book and holding it to your chest tightly, keeping your eyes on the floor.
“I’m sorry!” You said loudly, feeling your entire body shaking in terror.
“Get up,” he demanded, “tired of seein’ you acting like you’re afraid of me.”
You slowly stood, knees practically knocking together while you tried to stabilize yourself. Your breathing was shallow, and you felt tears welling in your eyes as you turned them up to look at him. Steven’s mouth was turned into a dark frown, brow furrowed in frustration. He felt so damn guilty for hurting you. He really did, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being a bit dramatic. He didn’t hit you that hard, right?
“Turn around.”
It was a simple command, and you weren’t too dumb to obey it, but the fear they’d instilled in you had left you paralyzed. What was he going to do when you turned around? Not being able to see him made you even more afraid. You found the courage to do it anyway, knowing that your punishment would be far worse if you didn’t comply.
You felt his hands, gentle, but still forcing a flinch out of you, as they traced along your spine. He brought them to your sides, along your ribcage and then he held your waist. You grunted when he lifted you, and he backed up to the couch, where he sat slowly, resting you on his lap, your back resting against his chest.
He was hard already, cock prodding against his sweats as though it were reminding you that it was still there. You hadn’t forgotten, your cunt was still aching from the last time he’d been inside of you, just the night prior. You let out a soft whine, to which Steven smiled against your ear. He let out a long exhale, one that told you he was going to want more than just a little story time before the night was through.
“Go ahead love, start reading f’me,” his breathing was ragged and desperate in your ear.
Steven listened as your pretty voice began reciting the book obediently. You were acting so much better now; better than when you’d first arrived. He felt a swell of pride through his chest as he pressed his lips against your cheek. You stuttered as you read, breathing becoming more shallow as he worked his kisses down your neck.
“Don’t stop love, keep goin’,” he demanded in a breathy rasp.
You’d managed all that time to keep your physical feelings at bay, but you couldn’t deny the heat pooling in your core at his touch. His hands that were resting casually on your outer thighs were now rubbing against you slowly as he became more and more restless. You knew he was preparing to take you again, never giving you a moment’s rest despite how badly your body still ached from everything he’d done. You stopped your reading, a small whimper escaped your lips; a feeble attempt at begging him to stop without saying it verbally.
“Now, now darling, I’ll have none of that,” he roughly grabbed your waist in one arm, holding you in place while he slid his sweatpants down underneath you, “you’re gonna take me like you’ve taken me before, and you’re going to keep on readin’ like the good little girl I know you can be.”
Steven could feel the way you pressed your thighs together tightly and it pissed him off. He still didn’t understand why you were acting like this, like you didn’t want him as badly as he wanted you. It was obvious that his touch made you feel good. He felt it every time he was inside of you, and he felt it now, the way your cunt was leaking all over his lap, soaking everything it touched.
“I think you’re just a little tease. I think you like makin’ me work for it, you like seein’ how bad I want you? Is that it, love?” He let a dark snicker escape his lips, breath still hot against the soft skin of your neck. “Well…” Steven brought his hands over your legs and then between your thighs, forcing them apart easily, despite your efforts to keep them closed, “I’m quite over it now love. I want it, and I’m gonna take it.”
He lifted you with ease, lining himself up with your hole before sheathing himself inside of you. He let out an exhale of relief, as though he needed to bury his cock in you the same way someone might need cold water on a hot day. You dropped the book on his leg and held onto his thighs tightly, choking on your pained grunts as they tried to leave your mouth. He sat there, unmoving, save for the way he continued to pepper your neck in gentle pecks.
“Didn’t tell you to stop readin’ did I, love?” He asked, reaching for the book and placing it back in your shaking hands.
You continued reading, feeling his cock throb against your walls with every word you read from the page. You felt one of his hands snake around to grab your breast, while the other moved over your thigh and between your legs. You stopped reciting the words again, unable to spit out another sentence as his fingers searched for your sensitive nub in the sea of your juices.
“See, this is why it seems so silly when you try to act like you don’t need me, love. You can’t even read a damn book when I touch you,” he said in a low growl while circling his finger over your clit. “Keep going.”
You gulped and let out a shaky exhale before continuing. His breath brushed over your neck while he continued leaving soft kisses there. You were overwhelmed by the sensations, feeling his cock twitching inside of you every time his fingers passed over your clit, making your cunt contract over him again and again. When you felt the trickle of his drool running down your throat you stopped reading again.
“If you keep stopping, I’m not going to be very happy darling. M’trying to get immersed in the story and you’re making that very, very hard,” he moved his hips a little, forcing his cock to brush against your cervix.
You gasped, “o-oh god! I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, it’s t-too much,” you whimpered from the over-stimulation.
“Oh love, that’s not true, you can handle me, you’ve handled me before, keep reading.”
Steven started pinching your nipple while you read, making it even harder to continue, but you persisted. Your wounds from the night before, and the reminder that they provided you with, were enough to keep you going. If his goal was to terrorize you into behaving the way he wanted, he’d succeeded. You would do almost anything he asked at this point in order to stop a beating like that from happening ever again. He let out a deep, rumbling moan against your neck, rutting his hips upward.
“So damn wet f’me, how can you lie and say you don’t want this? Such a silly little girl, soaking everything underneath you and saying you’re not enjoying yourself.”
He was right, you’d begun to crave their touch, the feeling of their cocks inside you, their spend filling and spilling out of you. Your heart stopped when you realized you’d stopped reading again. Steven chuckled.
“Since you’re not going to read it…” he pulled the book from your hands.
“Steven…” Marc said with a tone of warning.
Steven had half a mind to bend you over the arm of the couch and spank you with the book until your ass cheeks fell off, but Marc brought him back to reality. Despite his desire to teach you another lesson in obedience, he knew your body couldn’t take it. Instead he positioned the smooth, rounded, leather spine of the book in front of your cunt, resting it between your wet pussy lips.
“I want you to fuck yourself on me, and rub your needy little clit on this book since you don’t seem interested in what’s on it’s pages.”
“B-but–”
“Shh!” He shushed you harshly, “you be quiet now and do as I tell you. I really don’t want a repeat of last night, d’you?” Steven asked, tone deathly serious.
“O-okay, I’m s-sorry,” you said, voice trembling in fear.
You positioned yourself on your knees and started gliding on his length slowly, rising up so the tip was barely in and then dropping back to his base. You were wetter than you’d ever been, and it made you feel embarrassed. You didn’t want to enjoy it, but you couldn’t help yourself. The leather spine of the book had ridges that brushed over your slick clit, and it felt…good.
A shuddering whine left your body, your head fell back over his shoulder as you kept moving, grinding your folds along the book. Steven couldn’t believe you were falling onto him like that, that you were laying over him. You were so pliant, like a sweet little doll chasing your release on his cock. You started moving even faster, breathing heavier with each pass. Steven licked a stripe up your neck, sucking on your skin when he reached the base of your jaw.
“Yeah, you like this don’t you darling? Feels good dunnit? O-oh-god-yes-love-shit…” 
His breath was ragged and hot against your skin, causing mind numbing waves to course through over your body and to your core. You felt him grab the back of your head, turning you to face him before covering your mouth in his hungrily. He was so messy, and so noisy when he kissed you, forcing you to swallow his loud moans. His hips moved, rutting upward roughly as you moved back downward, brushing your cervix lightly.
Steven heard a little shaky whine leave your mouth forcing a smile from his own. He looked up at you, precious face stained with tears, lips puffy from all the crying you’d done. He chuckled softly, feeling nothing but pure bliss when he saw you looking at him with cock-drunk eyes. Steven removed his hand from the back of your head and brought it around your side to your breast, tucking his hand inside the baby blue, sheer fabric so he could feel your skin.
“So soft, love…oh yes…” 
Steven pinched your nipple between his thumb and forefinger to which you gasped and whimpered noisily. Those sounds were enough to make him come without ever touching himself, and with the feeling of your little pussy squeezing around him as your orgasm approached, there was no way he could hold on any longer. He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close against him while he slammed into you from below.
As Steven started thrusting even faster and harder, your loud cries filled the room from the ache of the stretch. You had no choice but to reach back and hold onto his messy curls for stability, an action that he would misconstrue as intimacy. You were gasping and arching on him, feeling the way his cock filled you while the book’s spine caressed your swollen clit. You could feel it…you were right there…
“Ah! Oh darling, ah-ah–”
Steven’s throat clamped up as his cock twitched and throbbed within your walls. Your soft little hole was so warm, engulfing him and squeezing around his length while you came. He noticed the way you continued sliding your folds over the book, using it to work yourself through your orgasm. Your movements eventually slowed, and as they did, Steven pulled you up off his cock, letting your combined juices spill onto the leather-bound novel when he did.
“Ooh lookie here,” he tsked, “what a mess we’ve made,” he chuckled, “would you look at that?”
He lifted the slick, dripping wet object up to his mouth and licked a stripe along the leather spine.
“Gonna need some help with this, can’t leave it like this or it’ll get damaged yeah?”
You nodded, knowing exactly what he was asking of you. You leaned in, tongue joining with his while you lapped the book together to ‘clean’ it. Steven’s cum tasted sweet and salty, a delicious combination, though you’d never admit that out loud.
He found your mouth with his once the leather was free of both your messes, kissing you with both your combined cum on your tongues. He kept going, he couldn’t resist the taste of you, and he felt himself getting hard again already. You had such an effect on him, he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted you again. Steven grabbed your hips harshly, turning you to straddle him.
“Steven, that’s enough. You have to give her a break. We talked about this, and you agreed,” Marc reminded him sternly.
Steven growled, but you didn’t understand why. You’d done everything he asked. You behaved perfectly, as far as you could tell. He pushed you off of him and pulled his sweats up over his erect cock. You felt frightened, not sure what you should do now, but the last thing you wanted was for any one of them to be mad at you, but especially not Steven. The thought alone was horrific, you felt the panic rising in your chest.
“I’m sorry!” You said quickly, rushing off the couch and over to him.
You grabbed the outside of Steven’s pants with your hand, feeling his bulge through his sweats and hoping that it would make him less upset with you. You touched his chest, showing your willingness to obey, looking up at him with the most pathetic doe eyes you could muster. He chuckled when he looked back down at you. “Oh darling, you’re so adorable I can hardly stand it,” he said, letting out a heavy breath, “you see, I’d love to give you more, I can tell how bad you want it again…” he looked over in the mirror, scowling at Marc, “but it’s Marc’s turn now,” he took your hand off his groin and kissed your fingertips, “we’ll be together again soon, not to worry my little darling.”
----
Moon Knight Masterlist
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melobin · 3 months ago
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hello !!
so it’s been brought o my attention that over the past few weeks an account has practically been spreading hate about @01zfan without directly tagging her. i’ll post the screenshots with the dates the posts were posted underneath the read more.
i understand that people may look at me and accuse me of being an ot6, just like they have before and at this point im not bothered? i know im an ot7 and the people i care about do. i got into riize just before they debuted and i’ve always loved and supported seunghan, but i’ll support my friends more if they’re being unfairly attacked over him.
at the end of the day we all want the same thing for seunghan and spreading hate about people and calling them “closeted ot6’s” isn’t going to get shit. ninona has explained on countless occasions why she doesn’t write for seunghan and i respect her for it, i understand it. she’s never spoke badly about him nor has wished for him to not return. whilst this is something we would have wanted to speak to the blog about, their asks and their replies are turned off and it only makes me think they don’t want to deal with the consequences of what they’re doing. it’s a shame i care more about the well being of a friend than the cowardliness of a blog actively posting hate about them.
@ohmark dawg this isn’t the way to go about getting seunghan back and you know it. you’re unnecessarily spreading hate about blogs who have never spoke ill of seugnhan, you’re “closeted ot6” theory seems more like paranoia that people don’t like him when they have stated they do. we would have left you be if you simply posted hating on sm and wishing for his return but instead you dedicated your blog to spreading hate about other blogs and that’s not something i’ll ever be able to stand for.
please continue under the read more. i love you all forever and i appreciate you taking the time to read this. please don’t send anyone hate over this, i just feel as if people need to be aware of what’s going on and the hate that’s being spread.
8th august
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personally, from the opinion of a ot7 riize writer, i literally see nothing wrong with this. even i struggle with headcanoning seunghan. in another ask ohmark stated that they don’t understand that mentality because it’s fanfiction and you cannot portray them in an accurate light but what they fail to understand is that what we write, when we write for these idols we base it off of their personalities, something we’re slowly seeing more of from riize overtime. something we didn’t get a lot of with seunghan. i’ll be the first to admit it’s miles easier to write for the other members because i feel as if i know more about them. it’s not about knowing them personally, it’s simply just about knowing things about them and we don’t know half as much about seunghan as we do for the other members.
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even now she gets asks asking why she doesn’t write for him, she’s gotten countless hate asks that she’s deleted wishing death upon her, insulting her writing and being racist towards her.
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this ask was sent just a few hours before ohmark had posted a screenshot of her reasoning for not writing for seunghan. what’s the need? even if she did state she didn’t like seunghan, why spread so much hate? if you dislike something so much, just block the person it’s not difficult at all. nothing about this is okay at all, it never has been and it never will be. i think it’s utterly fucking disgusting if you ask me!
last night they posted this, most likely due to the instagram upload that was posted by instagram. it’s upsetting seeing him being left out of their milestones but this? this isn’t it.
20th august
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they could have either not added the @ 01zfan. the post would have been find without it, i would’ve respected it and if it came up on my dash i would have interacted with it. but they had to ruin it by being unnecessarily hateful toward two individuals who has nothing to do with seunghan’s hiatus or his return.
bonus !! not to mention people who active follow and reblog ninona’s things are also reblogging hate posts about her which is insane to me … you’re either against her for choosing not to write for seugnhan or you like her … reblogging a fic and following ninona yet reblogging hate about her is crazy.
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colubrina · 9 months ago
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idk if you have a TikTok or if you keep up with the HP fandom over there; but apparently manacled by SenLinYu was posted on Amazon for purchase (not by the author). It’s since been removed but was up for more than a couple days. And there were individuals on TikTok that just didnt understand why others were getting so upset. Like let’s disregard the fact that someone other than the original author profiting off this work, but I actually saw people that were very firm in the belief that they could sell fanfic. Whether that be through book binds, cases like this, or commissions/Patreon. I’m an elder gen Z, and I remember coming into the fanfiction spaces pretty early on maybe like 07-08?? I think I was 9-10 reading HP fics on fanfiction.net and very vividly remember everyone being super specific about “this is not my sandbox, I’m just playing around” or “If you recognize anything, it doesn’t belong to me”. So I’m always surprised by people that really don’t see a problem with it. I’ve even seen people claim that it will either fall within the limits of fair use or that it would be a PR nightmare for someone to go after someone. I guess I was 1.) just wanting to rant about how shortsighted I think it was to someone that was around in fanfic space before 2015 and 2.) get thoughts from an author that I feel like has had several popular/successful fics in the fandom.
Yeah, I've got a TikTok. I never post anything, but I try to share anything people make that's nice about my old fics. I always have this half-assed feeling like I should make things but I don't. (https://www.tiktok.com/@colubrina_)
2. Congrats to Senlinyu on her book deal - very cool!
3. And yeah, I saw that people were doing that, and I wish I was surprised but I'm not. There's always been a not-insignificant part of the dramione fandom that sees the fics as 'belonging to the fandom.' They will post them on sites where the author doesn't want them. They will host PDFs online even when you directly ask them not to. They will rehost fics authors have taken down, orphaning them on AO3 so they can't be stopped. They don't see it as stealing because they see the fics as public property. It was probably just a matter of time before they started trying to host them on Amazon. It's frustrating for sure, but it does feel a bit like 'here we go again.' It certainly doesn't fall under fair use, and I think Manacled might be one of the very few fics that will have a legal department eager to keep it offline so the publisher can make their money from it, but other people will be less fortunate. Fic has become enough of a part of the ecosystem it's not at any kind of risk as an artform. But, yeah, it sucks. Be nice to your authors. Respect their wishes. Don't do this shit.
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crazylittlejester · 6 months ago
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honestly, the fandom dismisses wars trauma a little too much. Have you noticed it’s always never brought up in his character studies? And when it is, it’s totally brushed off him and cia had a WEIRDDD age gap. It’s also weird hyrule warriors never acknowledges this. I honestly don’t think it’s gonna be recognized in LU but idk. It’s just weird how quickly the fandom brushed over all that. What’s your opinion? Cuz you have cool opinions lol
Disclaimer: Everything you’re about to read is my opinion and my interpretation of a game. I’m not talking about headcanons (unless otherwise specified), I’m just talking about my experience with the game and everything else. All of this is from MY perspective interacting with the canon material from both Hyrule Warriors and Linked Universe. Also! I am dyslexic, my bad for oddly autocorrected words or weird spelling mistakes
A huge reason I started yapping so much on this blog was because I saw a lot of people either actively disliking Wars, making fucking INSANE comments about his body, overly sexualizing him, or just straight up dismissing him all together and it helped me get over my posting anxiety because it genuinely made me so upset. He’s been my favorite character since only a few posts into LU (i originally liked Twilight better based sheerly on design but it took like only a few posts before that changed), and I love HW Link in general, and I thought it was actually crazy that more people didn’t like him. I’ve written several of my own characters studies on him, some of which I’ve posted, others lay trapped in my old laptop in the form of a full on analysis paper, never to see the light of day
You can send a full grown man to war and he will come back with trauma, imagine what happens when you grab some poor teenager and tell him everything relies on him. Literally forget Cia for a minute, Link as a teenager was taken and shoved into a full on war where his men turned on him and in order to survive, he had to kill. Monsters and hylians alike, it was him or them, and he’s the one who made it out. Not to mention he was constantly running all over the battle field trying to prevent the hylian captains from being defeated, and he most certainly lost many people he cared about just because he couldn’t get there in time. He had to carry around the guilt that this war was started because some sorceress was obsessed with him ON TOP of that
This was said earlier by an anon on a post I reblogged, and I’ve been saying it myself for months but I will say it again: If Warriors had been a girl and been obsessed over that same way, I fucking GUARANTEE you people would be taking it more seriously
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I literally just typed in the character name and the game she’s from and that is what google had to say about her. If an older man was described as ‘harboring serious affections’ and having a ‘desire to claim’ a teenage girl I literally don’t think it would’ve been glossed over or ignored like it is
I don’t think nintendo was ever gonna elaborate or really recognize it in the game, they never go super in depth on anything in Zelda games from my experience, and I doubt Jojo will really get into it in LU mainly just because she has so much going on with eight other dudes and potentially two more (based on the header on the linked universe blog)
I saw a lot of characterizations of Warriors and opinions of him that made me so confused and also a bit mad, such that he is a womanizer or a stupid twink (of which he is neither), and that’s a huge reason I started writing fanfiction for this fandom. Firstly to just create more content for my favorite character because I rarely saw any that focused on him, and secondly because I didn’t like some (NOT ALL) of how I was seeing him characterized. (i cannot emphasize enough: NOT ALL people in the fandom characterized him this way, I saw plenty of amazing and beautiful characterizations of Warriors)
I do not think he is a womanizer at all, in fact I fully believe his flirtatious behavior is a defense mechanism. I think his ‘woman problems’ are the fact that he’s afraid of women (especially older women) he doesn’t know or trust, but also that’s just my opinion. And I am genuinely a bit worried that now that people have stopped talking about how they noticed he seemed off a few updates ago and now that they’re saying he’s back to normal that people are going to start reducing him to a stupid dramatic twink again, as if Warriors was not the one who came up with the initial plan to fight Dink and was not the first one to fight him. As if this is not a man who lead a god damn army. As if everything he’s done and everything he is no longer matters because he’s ‘pretty’
anyways I have a lot of thoughts about him in general and im just glad the fandom has been treating him better as of late, but i am a bit worried it’s just gonna go back to how it was
thanks for the ask!! sorry i got a bit carried away 😭
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